Lodi News-Sentinel
Dear Editor,
I couldn't agree more with Harold Parks' letter of the 13th. Like he said:
Those gay folks are again wasting mine and your tax dollars so they can feel good about themselves...
San Francisco seems to like them, so why don't they all go there and kick out any straight people that are left there? Once they are all there they can secede from the Union, start their own island country and we can blow the bridges. In two generations their population will be zero growth and we can take our land back.
But I think Mr. Parks understates the problem of homosexualism in Lodi. I've been there. I've talked to Lodians. I know there are a lot of men in Lodi who have sex with not-men for reasons other than to procreate. That's about as homosexualist an act as a man can do.Think about it. Not-men wear fancy sweet smelling perfumes and all those dainty, lacy, silky things. There's something a little too effeminate about a guy who'd get turned on by that kind of stuff.
And then there's those hairless things not-men have up front--a lot of guys like to fondle, kiss, and suck on them. Some even like it more than fondling, kissing, and sucking their own manly hairy chest bags. Can you imagine that? They might as well be sailors.
Then there's the "little soldier" problem; ladies don't have them. Now, you tell me; who'd want to have sex with someone who doesn't possess the equipment that makes a man a man? I mean, who, other than a homosexualist, would do that? It's just too damned feminine.
Now, I'm not saying that either you or Mr. Parks has non-procreative sex with women-- indeed, I'd be surprised if either of you had any kind of sex with not-men. But I do think you should consider the possibility that most of the men you see in Lodi are, in fact, secret homosexualists who get turned on by thingyless, sweet-smelling, lingerie-wearing not-men with big chest thingies. And that should scare the hell out of you.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
A tip of the ol' helmet to reader Julie.
Elsewhere: They're showing "The Fountainhead" on TCM, but I prefer the five second version.
