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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

"The President is a Big, Angry Negro!"

Kirk Groenig
Tea Marshall
Remember Us... "We The People"

Dear Marshall Groenig,

It sounds like you had one heck of a float at the Naches Sportsman's Day parade. Putting Obama in a slave-drawn red wagon was brilliant in itself, but having him whip the slaves was sheer genius. An empowered black man whipping a bony, and apparently starving, white boy is the perfect metaphor for what fuels our anger and feeds our fears. You couldn't have delivered the message any better if you'd all chanted, "Oh my God, the President is a big, angry Negro!"

That said, the float could have been better. It's like you quit before you were finished. I mean, hey, if you're going the traditional route, you owe it to our forefathers to go all out. Why wasn't there white women for Obama to lustily ogle? Where were the Confederate flags?

Well, I suppose there's still time to fix it before the next parade.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A tip of the ol' helmet to reader Bob.

Kirk worked hard on that float. I'm sure he'd appreciate hearing how you feel about it.


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    The children that the big angry Negoro is going to eat, I mean. Because he's Gozer the Gozerian. Why aren't there any children with gnawed-on body parts on that float? Although that's not nearly as scary as if the President was eating summathem white women.

  3. That's the kind of float that makes me wish I had a bushel of over-ripe produce sitting next to me...

  4. General, Sir:

    I sent this:


    It’s terrible that the Organs of the Security State came and shut down your tribute to MurKKKin values and beat you and your fellow parade goers before throwing you into the oubliette of picked on, upstanding KKKristians whose only REAL crime is not that they exercised their 1st Amendment rights to portray their abject ignorance and racist hatred--no, no, that's the Teabaggist Way--their only crime is really more of a dress code violation. Nobody in the video (or at least the 40 or seconds that I watched) was wearing a pointy hood or a "Backwoods Burqa"... no style, my man, no style at all.

    Oh, wait! I just heard that the Obamagoons DIDN'T attack the parade ala Bull Connors and the Selma police. Damn, ain't that a bitch, here you go to alla that trouble to try to be a martyr and the MAN just ignores your ass. What's a bigot to do?

    Oh, noes, according to a wire story out of Yakima, WA, which I saw in the Boston Herald (a liebral piece of crap rag, if ever saw one) you said, "'"It’s ridiculous when people say it is racism. I reject any of that,". Of course it's not racism, anymore than slavery in this country was anything but a jobs training program for those poor, iggerant darkies.

    Keep it up, dude, you and your fellow patriotesticles are showing the way to better gummint and, as a byproduct, closing the gulf of misunderestimating the genuine rage over nonexistent or manufactured problems that your corporate overlords have directed you to protest against.

    Hey, I notice Hanford ain't but a tactical nuke blast zone or so away from Naches (I admit I thought it was "Nachos" at first and couldn't figure out how them Obamexicans had got all the way up there), you're not drinking the local water are you? Just wondering.

    General, Sir:

    Per Kirk's (did you know, Sir, that "Kirk" is a germanic name based on the word for "church". Hmmm, y'know who also had a German name? Yep, Adolph Hitler) Facebook page, he's got something called "" that he prolly makes a lotta money at.

  5. Man, I was really, really pissed off by this video, at least until I realized that wasn't Obama but some guy pretending to be Obama. Can you imagine a mixed-race American President cracking a whip on some Evergreen State boy candy? When I figured it out the video was funny to me, in the same way institutionalized racism and the bloody legacy of slavery is funny to me.

    One question: how come when Bush fucked us nobody cracked any whips in any parades? I daresay Cheney would have shit his pants on that one, let me tell you.



We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.