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Monday, November 08, 2010

Suffering Suffrage

Our favorite pastor's wife, Zsuzsanna "Mrs. Steven L" Anderson, takes a few minutes away from the baby birthing assembly line to educate her fellow not-men about the evils of voting:
As a citizen of the US, I have a right to vote. However, I do not exercise this right, because I believe that based on the Bible, it is wrong for women to vote.

[...]

Voting is not in my area of responsibility, because as a woman, I am commanded to follow God and my husband. There should be one vote per household, and it should be the husband who casts it. Men are responsible for running the affairs outside the home, women are responsible for those inside the home.

The one-way chain of command in the Bible is:

God
Husband
Wife
Children
Every time a not-man votes, Satan kills a fetus-American:
Based on the Bible, it is wrong for women to exercise authority over men. However, women voting can lead to a passing of laws that the majority of men would oppose. One example of this is abortion - more than 50% of men are against it, but more than 50% of women are for it, which is why it is legal.
Look how the right to vote destroyed Sarah's family:
I wonder if Sarah Palin would have chosen to stay at home and rear her own children rather than run for political office if it would have saved her daughter from being a single teen mom.
And it turns your husband's holy inseminator into a vicious little sharp-edged cube of destruction:
Squares are not better than circles, but good luck trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I mean, maybe you could hammer it in there somehow, but it is not the way it was intended, offers no benefits, and will likely cause some sort of damage.
The Framers of our sacred Declaration of Constitution knew what they were doing when they reserved the electoral franchise to white, male property holders:
The Founding Fathers quite obviously believed differently than we do today. Not that society or our forefathers were automatically right on everything, but obviously my position is not just some absurdity - it used to be as natural as air for most of human history.
Is there any doubt why it's called suffrage:
Is our society so much better now that women act and are treated like men? Divorce, adultery, fornication, abortion, wayward children, being forced to work outside the home, etc. are at all-time highs.
Modern egalitarianofascists like to beat up pregnant women:
You are never more likely to be murdered by today's modern man who is so secure in his manhood that he doesn't mind sharing his authority with women than if you are pregnant or just had a baby.
Well, as you can imagine, that post angered egalitarianofascists and their femislamunistofascist fellow travellers. So, Zsuzsanna, relented and cast her vote on Tuesday, she just used a different kind of ballot:
I voted when, as the public fool bus was picking up less fortunate children on our street, our own children were enjoying the company of their siblings, joking with each other and furthering the close relationships between each other, over a breakfast of fresh-out-of-the-oven, made-from-scratch ham and cheese croissants, with a side of banana and orange juice.

I voted when I decided not to have our children brainwashed in a humanistic school all day today, or any other day of their life, but to rather teach them godly principles at home.

I voted when, instead of doing school work, I decided to suspend their studies this week so that we can more wisely spend these last few days with "only" five kids by preparing for the new baby together...

A tip of the ol' helmet to reader LJP.

15 comments:

  1. “Men are responsible for running the affairs outside the home, women are responsible for those inside the home.”

    Um, isn’t Lao Tzu-zsanna violating her own rule by blogging?

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  2. Let the dear girl blather on, just so long as she still turns into a six-pack after sex.

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  3. HELL YEAH! Why can't Ameikkka be like other cuntries where wimmenfolks know their place and they do the right thing when they get too big for their burqas?

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  4. these last few days with "only" five kids by preparing for the new baby together...

    mjs, if Zsulander's got five kids already and one on the way, I think it's something DURING sex, not after it, that's making her pop out a 6-pack. But those little Christian-cans aren't coming out of the fridge.

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  5. Lordy lordy -- who done taught that woman how to read and write? Didn't some wise man say that it's downright dangerous for females to be exposed to the potential evils of the written word.

    Next thing you know, she'll be reading the Bible for herself and quoting scripture!

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  6. somebody mark the day on the calendar, I agree with Mrs. Pastor Anderson. I don't think she should vote either.
    It isn't that I don't think women should vote--they should--I just don't think crazy people like Zsuzsanna should vote.
    I know crazy is hard to define, but like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, I know it when I see it. And when it comes to Szuzi-Q, there is ample evidence.

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  7. Mr. Reverend Paperboy, Sir:

    Y'know when I look at the way you typed it, "Szuzi-Q", makes my head spin. It looks like oneathem mooslamic names.

    So, bear with me, here. She wants to stay in the home and not go out into public(check); She wants to pop out babies to fill the quiver (check), she thinks uppity notmen who vote and have careers and such are teh EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvul. Sounds like a hajibabe to me.

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  8. Dave von Ebers:

    “Men are responsible for running the affairs outside the home, women are responsible for those inside the home.”

    Um, isn’t Lao Tzu-zsanna violating her own rule by blogging?

    Answer: No. She's talking about affairs (little soldiers making more children with fertile women, as G-d intended), not typing to keep the masses massing with her.

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  9. And yet she still feels that she has the right to express the opinion that women should not have the right to express their opinions.

    Moebius strip, anyone? It's what's for dinner!

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  10. "Brainwashed in a humanistic school", as opposed to being brainwashed in the INhuman home of the Rev. Kookoobananas.

    The mind boggleth. Yea, verily.

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  11. Dear General, Sir - thank you so much for the update on my favorite pastorette. Yes - submission, deference and docility just ooze out of every pore of this Godly woman. Thank Heavens she is not strident or opinionated or anything.

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  12. General Sir!

    I would like to emotionally & (if required) physically abuse my spouse in order to return her to at least the level of subjugation Mrs. Steven Anderson. Does Mr Anderson offer a guide or some sort of course I can do?

    In addition, I would like to offer Mr. Anderson some tips on how to improve his wife's subjugation. There are two main areas. As Technowitch pointed our, Mrs. Steven Anderson can read. I know you can't get her to unlearn it, so perhaps putting out her eyes may have to suffice.
    In addition to the eyes, I must concede absolute revulsion at the hussy-like attire Mrs. Steven Anderson is wearing. I mean, I can see her shape and her face! Doesn't she realise she is leaving herself open to being raped if men can can see her? What does Mrs Anderson think about all these leering men seeing his wife?

    It has to be put right, as god & nature intended.

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  13. Why didn't I meet her first?

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  14. If she pops out another non-man, I hope Pastor Anderson gets himself a handmaiden capable of reproducing the correct gender. Zsuzsu was doing ok at first - three boys - but then she started getting uppity with her blog and God punished Pastor Anderson by sending him daughters.

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  15. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.