Is Sarah Palin the Devil? Glenn Beck Gives Her The Test

Sarah Palin is a messenger, and as Mormons like Glenn Beck and Mitt Romney know, some messengers are good and some are Satan in a mama grizzly disguise. The Doctrine and Covenants (one of the four standard scriptural works of Mormonism--the others being the Bible, The Book of Mormon, and The Pearl of Great Price) tells us how to discern the difference:

D&C 129:

1 THERE are two kinds of beings in heaven, namely: Angels, who are resurrected personages, having bodies of flesh and bones—

2 For instance, Jesus said: Handle me and see, for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.

3 Secondly: the spirits of just men made perfect, they who are not resurrected, but inherit the same glory.

4 When a messenger comes saying he has a message from God, offer him your hand and request him to shake hands with you.

5 If he be an angel he will do so, and you will feel his hand.

6 If he be the spirit of a just man made perfect he will come in his glory; for that is the only way he can appear—

7 Ask him to shake hands with you, but he will not move, because it is contrary to the order of heaven for a just man to deceive; but he will still deliver his message.

8 If it be the devil as an angel of light, when you ask him to shake hands he will offer you his hand, and you will not feel anything; you may therefore detect him.

9 These are three grand keys whereby you may know whether any administration is from God.

There are a lot of words in those versus--perhaps too many words for those of us who watch Mr. Beck and believe Mrs Palin has what it takes to be president. So let's make it simple:

So is Sarah Palin actually the Devil, cross-dressing as a pitbull in lipstick? Well, we have photos of Glenn Beck testing her, and he'd tell us if she's the Prince of Darkness. He's been silent about the results. That can only mean she's a real person or an angel.

A helmet tip to Main Street Plaza.

Now for something a little different:

There's a Christian flag in the background of the handshake photo. I hope Mr Beck and Mrs Palin recited the Pledge of Allegiance written for that flag:

I pledge allegiance to the Christian Flag and to the Savior for whose kingdom it stands; One Savior, crucified, risen, and coming again with life and Liberty to all who repent and believe The Gospel. (Amen)

Now for something completely different:

Pamela Geller is warning us that we should be very afraid of something (not sure what it is, but it sounds scary enough to make me soil my Patriot Pampies (TM):