Once again, Jesus' General is proud to be chosen to host a blog post by President-in Waiting Sarah Palin. Please show her the respect she deserves in your comments.Thank you for the use of your blog, General.
-- Gen. JC Christian, patriot
The lame stream media once again demonstrated its lack of knowledge about America's history when it attacked statements made by me and
Obviously, the lame stream media needs a history lesson. Michele and I put the following timeline together to help them.
1492 - United States discovered by an Ohioan, Chris Columbus, while he was scouting shooting locations for Home Alone.
1620 - Pilgrims hold the first Thanksgiving moments after landing at Plymouth Rock. The feast consisted of turkey, cranberries, and root beer floats. Ungrateful brown people stole the silverware.
1772 - Opposition to British rule rose dramatically after Ben Franklin dressed up like a pimp and asked Hudson Bay Company officials to provide funding to house "morale ponies."
1773 - The Madhatter hosts a tea party in Boston to protest the new soda tax. Broadsides are distributed featuring headlines like: "Feeding a family is already difficult in today's economy. Keep government out of our grocery carts."
1775 - A Brown Bess .75 cal musket descends from Heaven and stirs the Virginia House of Burgesses into action by proclaiming: ""Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, Give me Liberty, or give me Death!"
1776 - The 15 Colonies declare independence after King Boy George III refuses to release a birth certificate to prove he is a British citizen.
1775-1783 - Gen. George Washington repeatedly gets off his horse and prays.
1787 - Constitution ratified. Guarantees protection against everything that scares us.
1789 - Congress passes first bill. It allows for drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge once it's discovered.
1789 - Congress passes second bill: Nuke Iran at the first opportunity after we learn what "nuke" and "Iran" mean.
1790 - Congress ends slavery, but allows 75 year grace period.
1812 - Congress declares war on Great Britain after British crucify Jesus for inventing the word, "refudiate."
1861 - Tolerancofascists invade Bible Belt, force their values onto white citizens.
1945 - US defeats Obama's forces in Germany.
1957 - Red Russia launches potato into space, calls it Spudnik. Loss of potato leads to Great Potato Famine and undermines Red Russian economy. This results in evil empire's collapse.
1982 - Ronald Reagan turns water into grape Nehi soda, heals a leopard, and teaches Catholics a lesson in El Salvador.
2008 - Sarah Palin chooses John McCain to be her running mate.
2008 - Rep. Michele Bachmann exposes ring of anti-American Mexican sasquatchs serving in Congress.
2009 - Communists tremble as Bristol Palin performs on Dancing with the Stars.