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Thursday, March 24, 2011

Mars Hill Needs Scapegoats

Pastor Mark Driscoll
Preaching and Theology Pastor
Mars Hill Church

Dear Pastor Driscoll,

I don't think I've ever thanked you for helping me with that ear grabbing spousal submission technique. Although I haven't been able to use it effectively on my wife, OfJoshua--she's away most nights, providing spiritual comfort to Mr. Garcia--I've found it works very well on Sheila, our militia morale sheep.

But that's not why I'm writing you today. I'm sending this note to thank you for making the video you're featuring on your WhoKilledGod.com site. It's nice to see modern technology used to revive the old traditional Good Friday sermons.

Back in the old days, it might take a Polish cleric 15 minutes to blame the Jews for killing Our Lord and Savior--that's 15 minutes that could have been spent preparing for the subsequent pogrom. You do it in mere 18 seconds with a clip of a Sanhedrin priest screaming "blasphemy." That gets everyone on their way a lot earlier.

Thanks again for the ear grabbing and pogrom help.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

6 comments:

  1. We're all naturally supporters of getting our hate on, especially of a weak minority. However, I thought the blaming of the Jews for the death of Jesus was always a bit weak.

    He died for our sins. He died a horrible, degrading, violent death. He died with freakin' nails in his hands & feet. He died, in the sun, on a cross he had to carry himself. Thats pretty heavy, you know?

    If no-one dobbed him in, Jesus would lived to have been an old man.'Jesus died a natural death after a full life quietly in his sleep for you.' just doesn't have the same awe factor does it?

    Mel Gibson & Mark Driscoll wouldn't be able to have made their torture-porn if it was some old guy who suddenly stops snoring. They should thank the Jews. Show me one major religion where the God just nods off after a while. Pathetic!

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  2. Jesus, the son of God, died for our sins--He is the redeemer and hope of all humanity, the savior who brought the messages of love and forgiveness so that we may all be freed from the bonds of abject misery and fear. All praise unto Him in His blessed mercy. Oh, yes, by the way, goddamn the people of his tribe.

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  3. I thought the Mahometans killed Jeezy. They were dressed up like Hebrewslims when they did it. Isn't that why we hate them? I'm not clear on a lot of the fine points of heretic theology, but I know we should hate them. They killed Our Lord!

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  4. No the problem here is the Mohamedites don't buy the "son" theory. No profits if he is a prophet. Spoils the marketing on a global scale.
    Three types of beliefs all based on one guy Abraham a Jew. All on the same page and then this rabbi comes up and says "hey that's me in the prophecy" The Mohamedites only see prophet the late comers see me$$iah and the rest is history.

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  5. The ones that killed Jesus, would that have been the People's Front of Judea, the Judean People's Front, the Judean Popular People's Front, the Campaign for a Free Galilee, or the Popular Front of Judea.

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    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.