Newt Gingrich's decision to run for president sparked massive gains in the Extramarital Blow Jobs Futures market. Although I'm not sure what extramarital blow jobs are exactly, Cletus assures me that they are a good thing, a very very good thing.
I'm not so sure about that. Extramarital blow jobs sounds like an ecoslamunistofascist plot to construct wind farms on polygamist compounds. Maybe Newt is going after Mitt's base.
