The Conservative's Guide To Socioeconomic Class

As right and holy as I think my GOP brothers may be, I think they're blowing it when they talk about the middle class. You know what I mean. The Demislamunistofascists put up a proposal to "tax the rich," and it seems like every Republican in Congress scrambles to condemn it as a tax on the poor souls who make a meager $250,000 a year. That wouldn't be a problem if they'd continue on to actually defining what "middle class" actually means.

The problem is that the average Joe thinks "middle class" is a literal term; that it is the class that sits in the middle of the economic spectrum. They ask the question, "If $250K is at one end of the spectrum, what figure is at the other end? Am I middle or working class?" After they do a little research, they learn that someone making $250K is sitting at the 96th percentile of annual income (top 4%). At the other end of the spectrum, the 4th percentile, a person makes $6000/year. From 6K to 250K a year makes for a pretty darn big middle class.

 I've come up with a better way of defining socioeconomic class. It's a definition based on conservative values, a definition that doesn't lump the "struggling elect" with those lazy assholes who can't afford both a Porsche and a vacation chalet at Vail.