Ten Alternatives To Apologizing For Koran Burnings

As Afghanistan exploded over news that the American military burned seized Korans, the OBAMUNIST USURPER responded in his typical fashion--he apologized like the America-hating foreigner he his.

Thankfully, the true patriots of the GOP are not allowing him to get a way with it. Indeed, they've come up with a list of ten ways in which a Republican president would have responded differently to Afghan concerns:

• Invade Iran.
• Drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
• Lower taxes for those who make more than $250,000 a year.
• Make transvaginal probing a requirement to buy ladies shoes.
• Require insurance companies to cover the costs of hiring priests to serve as school nurses.
• Declare "American Hoggers" to be the "Official Tee Vee Show of the United States."
• Restore property rights stolen by the socialist, Abraham Lincoln, after the War of Northern Aggression.
• Privatize Congress.
• Change name of "arabic numerals" to "freedom numerals"
• Create a special visa for anyone willing to put their little Mexican into an Arizona Sheriff's mouth.