Down Syndrome vs. Retardation Explained

This is a guest post by mjs. The words contained herein do not necessarily reflect the thoughts and opinions of General JC Christian, Patriot.

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After watching all the recent coverage of Sarah Palin and the public and private use of the word "retard" as a pejorative, I decided to go to the top for an answer: I asked God to explain the difference between Down Syndrome and Mental Retardation. God was kind enough to send me an email in response to my query, about 1/20th of a second after I asked for it. If God ever opened up a restaurant you wouldn't be sitting around, wondering where your food is. It would be in front of you before you could say jumping jehosaphat. That is one fast deity, no doubt about it. Here is God's response:

Dear Child Born of Sin: Down Syndrome is a chromosomal disorder caused by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome. Trig Palin, the son of Sarah Palin, has Down Syndrome.

Sarah Palin differs from her son in that she suffers from Mental Retardation which for her is a plus. She is able to condemn the usage of the word "retard" if the person using it has different politics than she does, but can actually defend its usage if the person uttering the word is important on her side of the aisle.

To sum up: Sarah Palin's son Trig has Down Syndrome. Sarah Palin herself has gone Full Retard. Rahm Emanuel should be fired for using the word "retarded" and Rush Limbaugh is just okey-dokey-peachy-keen, no matter what he does. Rush is that good.

Glad I could clear that up for you.

Love,

God

p.s. Sorry about the chromosome problem vis a vis Down Syndrom--I mostly do it to the fetuses of older women anyway. Who would have thought people would be living so long? When I created...oh, shit, here come the wife. Gotta go.

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The Opinuary Column

The Opinion "To be a Christian necessarily means that the individual seeks philosophical, moral and spiritual harmony with the ineffable source of the manifested Universe" has died after a brief, two thousand year illness. The Opinion leaves behind millions of judgmental, stone-throwing, mote-in-their-enemy's-eye-seeking, homophobic, self-righteous, hypocritical, fear-based, dualistic followers without benefit of a high-horse to sit upon. Pity, that.

Born and raised in the Middle East (before taking up quarters in Rome) the Opinion eschewed formal schooling and practiced instead the art of wagging its finger, tilting back its head, furrowing its brow, arching its eyebrows and shifting its legs while telling anyone who listened that God was love and if you didn't believe it you would burn in an everlasting lake of fire. After looking down its nose at anyone who believed differently it brought its message of hope and terrifying anguish to the New World, cloaking the natives in shame and disease while spraying its urine on the local belief systems.

The Opinion eventually went on to give strength and comfort to its adherents in the New Land, people who didn't have the slightest idea why men had penises and women had Georgia O'Keefe paintings as their respective reproductive organs. An added bonus was that the contents of the Christian Bible were just contradictory enough to make the believers forget about fucking for upwards of forty-five minutes at a time, depending on the season. Another bonus to the theological fixations of New World Christians was their learning how bronze age Jews weren't nearly as funny as their descendants, but the Old Testament Yahweh wasn't exactly a shopping cart of laughs either, so there you go.

The Opinion spent its remaining years casting about for enemies in all shapes and sizes: gay marriage, women's right to sovereignty over their own bodies in a secular society, global warming, the scientific theory of evolution (as opposed to the non-scientific assertions of Genesis) to name but a few. As time passed, and as more and more self-described Christians behaved like the horny, avaricious little demons they claimed to despise, the Opinion could no longer sit in judgment on others without breaking into a deep and abiding guffaw. The Opinion passed away on December 8th of this year during a final fit of accidental self-reflection. It leaves millions of survivors in a collective state of abject reality.

In lieu of flowers the family of the Opinion ask that you judge others, cast stones, treat people poorly, do not tend to the poor or the sick, never turn your cheek, and don't treat anyone the way you would treat the titular head of your own belief system. That which you do for the least of them is your own dirty little problem.

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The Opinuary Column appears just about every gosh-darn Friday at Jesus' General.

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A Taste of Mittocrisy

DEAR MISTER ROMNEY, I really appreciate your steadfast commitment to your faith. I've heard people choose these types of ideologies because it grounds a person in morality and integrity and human values. And of course I can admire that. With all the hate- and fear-mongering filling the public square today, I welcome men of your caliber.

I only have a small question. Given that a central tenet of Mormonism is that the Indians of the Americas are descended from the Lost Tribes of Israel, how do you reconcile your current anti-immigrant stance with the fact that Mexicans are descended, too, from these same people? How do your actions fit into the theological framework now that you are the one trying to stop them from wandering?

and furthermore—

DALLAS - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is Mexican on his father’s side, reports Diario La Estrella. George Romney was born in Galeana in the Mexican state of Chihuahua in 1907. The history of Mormons in Utah and Mexico is inextricably linked, Diario La Estrella reports. In the 1880s, when Utah was petitioning to be a U.S. state, polygamy was practiced by some Mormons there, which went against American law. Those who practiced polygamy sought sanctuary in Chihuahua, Mexico and founded a colony there. By 1910, there were 4,000 Mormons in Mexico. During the Mexican Revolution, guerrilla groups attacked the Mormons, forcing them to send their children to Utah. George Romney, Mitt Romney’s father, was one of these children.

—Mitt Romney’s Mexican Heritage

Wait a Minute Mitt Romney has Mexican Roots?

An article posted on AlterNet reveals Mitt’s Mexican connection.

Mitt Romney’s father George was born in Chihuahua, Mexico in 1907, the son of Gaskell Romney and Anna Amelia Pratt. Three generations of Romneys lived in Mexico because Miles Park Romney, a polygamist, moved the family there in 1884 as it became increasingly clear that the U.S. government would not tolerate polygamy in the Utah Territory. The 1882 Edmunds Act stripped polygamists of the basic rights of U.S. citizenship, denying them the right to vote, serve on juries or hold office. Not dissimilar to current immigration raids, U.S. federal agents hunted and arrested polygamists. Polygamists were forced to leave the country or risk jail.

Mitt’s grandparent’s crossed back into the U.S. during the Mexican Revolution. But that hasn’t made this candidate any softer on the immigration issue.

Source : AlterNet

Damn. And all this time, you been hidin' ya raza under a bushel??? Dunno, Mittski! Maybe you and Jessica Alba, and Malkin, and Tancredo all oughtta get together. Self-Loathers and Self-Deniers for a Confused Country Coalition, seeking to sublimate the locking down and locking up and interment and eradication of all demons you refuse to see within yourselves. Just a thought.

Or you can continue (what we must by now call) "Republican Repression-Projection Politics."

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Crossposted at The Unapologetic Mexican, Culture Kitchen, and Corrente.