Down Syndrome vs. Retardation Explained

This is a guest post by mjs. The words contained herein do not necessarily reflect the thoughts and opinions of General JC Christian, Patriot.

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After watching all the recent coverage of Sarah Palin and the public and private use of the word "retard" as a pejorative, I decided to go to the top for an answer: I asked God to explain the difference between Down Syndrome and Mental Retardation. God was kind enough to send me an email in response to my query, about 1/20th of a second after I asked for it. If God ever opened up a restaurant you wouldn't be sitting around, wondering where your food is. It would be in front of you before you could say jumping jehosaphat. That is one fast deity, no doubt about it. Here is God's response:

Dear Child Born of Sin: Down Syndrome is a chromosomal disorder caused by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome. Trig Palin, the son of Sarah Palin, has Down Syndrome.

Sarah Palin differs from her son in that she suffers from Mental Retardation which for her is a plus. She is able to condemn the usage of the word "retard" if the person using it has different politics than she does, but can actually defend its usage if the person uttering the word is important on her side of the aisle.

To sum up: Sarah Palin's son Trig has Down Syndrome. Sarah Palin herself has gone Full Retard. Rahm Emanuel should be fired for using the word "retarded" and Rush Limbaugh is just okey-dokey-peachy-keen, no matter what he does. Rush is that good.

Glad I could clear that up for you.

Love,

God

p.s. Sorry about the chromosome problem vis a vis Down Syndrom--I mostly do it to the fetuses of older women anyway. Who would have thought people would be living so long? When I created...oh, shit, here come the wife. Gotta go.

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The Opinuary Column

The Opinion "Glenn Beck eats paste" has died. Relatives of the Opinion have been on the defensive lately, and to a man have asserted to the media that Glenn Beck does not eat paste, rather he eats crayons dipped in ethanol and acepromazine. The death of the Opinion was unexpected by anyone who has ever seen their private stock of paste vanish when that porcine twerp shows up, but what can you do? The coroner's report is sacrosanct.

The strangely cobbled-together broadcaster known as Glenn Beck, who cannot be reached by anyone, anywhere, at any time, says that he enjoys the "flavor colors" of Crayola brand crayons, and the themes and ideas those "flavor colors" represent. For instance, Blue represents the Sky and Jesus, Red represents Hell and Lucifer, and Green represents Communism and death and the previously mentioned color Red (see Hell and Lucifer). From color comes art, and we all know how subversive art is, don't we?

Many of Beck's audience (most of whom are in danger of having their oxygen shut off by bloodthirsty death panel advocates) will all rest a little easier knowing that the sweaty, unctuous entertainer who is seen squirming and contorting inside the magic RCA color box--the fella who cries a lot and would be mistaken for Porky Pig if he dropped his trousers--has at last been cleared of any paste-related wrong-doing.

Family and friends of the Opinion found some airplane glue in the garage and could not be reached for further comment. In lieu of flowers how about sending this maudlin, hyperbolic, obsequious toady a six-pack of Shut The Fuck Up. Better yet, make it a twelve pack.

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Note from mjs: It's almost too bad knowing that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990--or might have, or at the very least it remains a possibility. I think he made a painting of the event and titled it Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. Art is so cool!

The Opinuary Column appears Friday afternoons at Jesus' General.

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