Dr. Dino on Ron Paul, Jews, and "Pinky and the Brain"

Great news from God's favorite anti-sitzpinkling pastor, Steven L. Anderson. Kent "Dr. Dino" Hovind (or as the hacks like to call him, "Prisoner #06452-017") sent Pastor A an email from his home at USP Jesup.

Dr. Dino is working hard and sounds very happy. And why wouldn't he be. After all, as he triumphantly declares, "America is the "plucked eagle" of Dan. 7," and soon (7 years), Jesus is coming to defeat the "Pinky and the Brain type folks who wish to take over the world."

Although he's reluctant to participate in the "dog and pony show we see on TV every 4 years [that] is to elect a president of the board of directors for a huge private corporation named UNITED STATES," he's endorsing a candidate:

I would love to see someone who at least partly understands and attempts to obey the original constitution as ratified in 1791.The only one CLOSE to fitting that category is Ron Paul. I'd ignore the media and the 'republican leadership' and go for him IF I was voting for that corp pres.

Why Ron Paul? Well:

He understands that the const. is supreme NOT congress, NOT the court, and NOT the pres!

And, as Dr. Dino notes, Ron Paul doesn't pray those "Jew prayers" like other politicians do:

maybe they [Court, Congress, and President of the "huge private corporation named UNITED STATES"] prayed the Kol Nidri prayer?

"Huh," you might be asking yourself. Well,

I covered that in a post last year on kenthovindblog.com.

Oh yeah, the hypothetical conversation with God and a Rabbi:

God: Go ask the rabbi, Son (Matthew 23: 7-8).

KH [Kent Hovind]: Ok Lord… Excuse me, sir. I don’t speak Hebrew but you folks sure seem to be excited and zealous about what you’re singing! What’s going on here?

Rabbi (RA): Oh, we’re excited all right! This is the first night of Yom Kippur. Many millions all over the world celebrate this time. Tonight we are all reciting the Kol Nidrei (Maariv) prayer. It is the first basic level of the five levels of our soul. The Kol Nidrei chant inspires emotional ecstasy as we recite it three times to this soul stirring melody. Everyone really gets excited as they pray and dance!

KH: I can see that! What does the prayer say?

RA: It basically says that we are entering into an agreement with God that any oath, vow or pledge we take for the next twelve months shall be null, void, extinct, naught, and non-existent.

KH: Wow! Sort of like advance permission to lie?

RA: We don’t like to be that blunt but, yes, that’s what it amounts to.

KH: Is this how politicians, judges and even people on the witness stand can lie or not keep their oath to defend the Constitution and still sleep at night?

RA: Exactly! The oath is meaningless because of the Kol Nidrei prayer. It only lasts twelve months though. We have to do it again each year about this time.

KH: That’s sounds like what the Pharisees and scribes did in Mark 7:11. They could break the law and still feel justified before God....


RA: We take our cue from Solomon. He broke his vows to God, so it’s OK.

KH: Have you seen how Solomon turned out?

RA: Yes, but we are different. We’re happy the way things are. Just leave us alone. (Mark 5:17). We are not open to discussion about it.

KH: OK, it’s your life. I’ll see you judgment day and God will sort it all out.

God: I sure will, Son. I sure will. (Matthew 12:36) They have fooled themselves into thinking they have power to forgive their own sin. They think they are God! (Genesis 3:5) Does that answer your question about how they can lie and still sleep?

OK, that clears it up. It's obvious why Dr. Dino endorsed Ron Paul. He must be studying with the Teutonic Heritage Appreciation Society that runs C-Block. Great bunch of guys.

On the Sixth Day, God Created the Trumpet

Sherry Melby

Teacher, Sedalia School District #200
Band parent, Smith-Cotton High School Band

cc: Bradley Pollitt
Assistant Superintendent
Sedalia School District #200

Dear Mrs. Melby,

Kudos to you for opposing the Smith-Cotton High School Band t-shirt which featured Dawinunistofascist imagery. I'm in total agreement with your statement that you "don't think evolution should be associated with our school." Indeed, it shouldn't be associated with any school as far as I'm concerned.

It's refreshing to find a school teacher who's so committed to reviving ancient suspicions about science. Things like evolution, heliocentrism, and plate tectonics cause our children to question the literal truths found in our Holy Bible, and should, therefore, have no place in our academies of learning. I long for the day to return when teachers, like yourself, instruct our children to hide under their desks until a solar eclipse passes, least they be struck down by the angry God who took the sun away. I hope you're doing that.

As for the band t-shirts, I fear that simply destroying them is not enough. You need to do something about the philosophy behind them: this "brass evolution" idea that somehow "brass instruments have evolved in music from the 1960s to modern day." The band students need to hear the truth. They need someone like you to stand up in front of them and say, "On the sixth day, God created the trumpet," and then tell the story about how the trumpet was lonely, so God created a coronet out of its spit valve to be its companion. And then how Satan, taking the form of a french horn, got them thrown out of Mr. Jehovah's band class for stuffing those mute cone things in their bell holes.

Only then, can we be certain of our children's salvation.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and non-mute-cone-stuffing kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

The mystery of the beard

Brian Thomas, M.S.
Institute for Creation Research

Dear Mr. Thomas,

I've always wondered why God gave men facial hair. I figured He was trying to help us avoid temptation by providing us with a means of hiding our lips from each other, but that didn't make much sense. Some men have very thin facial hair that doesn't hide the lips at all. And of course the thought of a big hairy cop mustache tickling away like carbon deposits on a V-8's pistons is a big temptation in itself, isn't it.

I knew someone in the Christ-based science community must have an explanation for this mystery of the beard, and now I've found it. Your article in Acts and Facts answered all my questions:

[I]f everything was created by a God who exists outside the physical world, there is a ready answer, one with broad application: beards present a certain appearance. Aesthetic features were emplaced by Someone who knew how things look in addition to how things work. Beards do not confer any selectable survival advantage to humankind, but they do serve to add distinction to men, perhaps as different features distinguish women.

It would be consistent to think that it simply pleased the Creator to outfit humans and other creatures with certain visually appealing characteristics. "But God giveth it a body as it hath pleased him" (1 Corinthians 15:38)...

In addition to this, and by His grace, God provided humans with the ability to recognize and appreciate beauty, distinguishing it from ugliness. Only with this ability can people give God proper credit for inventing human beards, lion manes, peacock feathers, salamander spots, crustacean coloration, ultraviolet color patterns in deep sea fish (where there is no ultraviolet light), and the hot-pink spiny dragon millipede discovered in Greater Mekong. All these creatures could conceivably serve their purposes and be ugly, but instead they seem to have been uniquely adorned by a Master Artist.

So that's the answer. God gave us beards for two reasons. First, they serve as a visual clue so we don't confuse men with women; and second, because God digs beards.

I suppose that also explains back hair and all the other hair I have growing on my ears, arms, and taint. Ofjoshua really hates that last one. It's like a forest down there and the hairs are very long. She's always taunting me about it, saying I'm long everywhere but where it counts.

But now, I have a response. God loves my taint hair. He thinks it's beautiful.

I think I'll braid it.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Bill Nye the Science Guy insults God and Texas

We teabagger-Americans have put up with a lot--jokes about grenade sucking, comments about the intelligence of someone who supports Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber, homosexual teletubbies, sushi--but, by God, we don't need no fancy Seattle science guy coming down to our national homeland, The Republic of Texas, and tellin' us the moon ain't Jesus' light bulb.

Yep, you heard me right. Bill Nye came down to Texas and blasphemed the Lord God of Abraham by claiming the moon does not have it's own light source; it merely reflects the sun.

Here's an eyewitness report:

The Emmy-winning scientist angered a few audience members when he criticized literal interpretation of the biblical verse Genesis 1:16, which reads: “God made two great lights - the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.”

He pointed out that the sun, the “greater light,” is but one of countless stars and that the “lesser light” is the moon, which really is not a light at all, rather a reflector of light.

A number of audience members left the room at that point, visibly angered by what some perceived as irreverence.

“We believe in a God!” exclaimed one woman as she left the room with three young children.

Yes, we believe in God, Mr. Nye, and you're just damned lucky we didn't follow the prophet Elisha's example and have God send a couple of she-bears to eat your secular ass.

Ray Comfort on the vagina

Ray Comfort
Atheist Fighter

Dear Mr. Comfort,

I really enjoyed your response to all the criticism your book received at Amazon. As the author of the "most helpful" positive review* , I, too, am disgusted with those who unashamedly stooped to using science, reason, logic to pan your book. I look forward to the day when Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, sends them to the fiery pits of Hell to suffer for all eternity.

I'm glad you pointed out that your atheist detractors are intentionally omitting the comparison to Coke cans you make in your banana argument. Without the coke can comparison, your claim that bananas disprove evolution sounds ludicrous. But when it is pointed out that both have pop tops and are perfectly fitted to the human hand, the existence of a creator cannot be denied.

I'm also very happy to see that you've endorsed the main point of my review, what I call the "Eve argument." As you note, lady parts cannot be explained by evolution. Nature would have looked at the penis, and said, "It completes the crotchal area, making it more esthetically pleasing by filling up an inch or so of barren space. No more work needed." Only God could have foreseen the need a man's thingy would have for a nice, warm vacation hideaway, and He created vaginas to fill that need.

Finally, I want to thank you for supporting Joseph Farrah by publishing your response on his web site, World Net Daily. I know he's very upset about rumors on the internets tubes that he is the gay, but he's denied it. I think he just likes the mustache.

Heteosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

*Although, I have 582 "most helpful" votes, Mr. Comfort's World Net Daily readers have added about 180 "Least helpful votes," thus moving me out of the top spot (they rank by percentage of "most helpful" votes). So, give it a vote of you haven't.

Amazon Review: Perfect Proofs Without Extra Sauce

Woooooo hoooooo! My Amazon review of Ray Comfort's You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can't Make Him Think: Answers to Questions from Angry Skeptics. is up. As a great man once almost said, "I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book selling thing everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name on the internets tubes - that makes people. I'm digital! Things are going to start happening to me now."

Please vote for my comment so it becomes featured.

 Perfect Proofs Without Extra Sauce, February 18, 2009

By Gen. JC Christian, patriot(Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews

Dr. Comfort's book is amazing. It may be the best primer for defeating an atheist I've ever read. I'm particularly fond of how he proves the existence of God by pointing out the perfection of the banana and the fact that the atmosphere is 78.09% nitrogen and 20.95% oxygen--"the exact mixture that his [Adam's] lungs and blood needed to survive."

Take that atheists!

My only disappointment with the proofs provided in this book is that my favorite, Eve, isn't listed among them. Evolution could have made her look like anything at all--like Rush Limbaugh, a big hairy wookie, or a naked mole rat for example. There's no way Adam would have tapped that. Instead, God chose to fashion one of Adam's ribs into something soft, curvy, beautiful, and desirable (Yes, he did make that little sailor in the boat impossible to find, but that's only because you're not supposed to touch it).

God did that. He made women attractive to men, so we'd want to procreate with them rather than watermelons or sheep or something else. And even more importantly, he knew when to stop. No barbeque on these ribs, because God doesn't want us to be always tasting them.

Fred Barnes takes on the psuedo-science of wiping

Fred Barnes
Wiping Skeptic

Dear Mr. Barnes,

I was very impressed with the way you handled Sheryl Crow on Sunday. Attacking her as one of the "Hollywood types" who think they know everything about science "and the science of wiping yourself" was an inspired (and very classy) strategy. By God, I bet her nemesis, Karl Rove, doesn't depend on science to tell him how to wipe. In fact, I doubt he wipes at all. He understands the uncertainty surrounding the hygienic value of wiping. Certainly, he's read the non-peer-reviewed anecdotal research published in "Hidden Odors, The Official Magazine of The American Air Freshener Manufacturing Association," which concluded that wiping is extremely unhealthy.

Karl Rove wouldn't be the only patriot who's rejected the pseudo-science of wiping. Sen. James Inhofe hasn't wiped since he adopted a faith-based approach to personal hygiene twenty years ago, and lord knows paper is a complete stranger to Paul Wolfowitz's seat of government--just look at him.

You know, I bet there's a book in this for you. I hope you'll consider writing one. I bet it'd be an even bigger seller than your last one, Rebel in Chief.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Elsewhere: Fox and Friends' Rod Wheeler uses his incredible observational powers to discover the link between the DC Madame story and the Condit/Levin scandal: rich, powerful, old guys want to fornicate with young attractive women.