Jesus' General

The Cabbage Patch Doll is packing a shiv!

Focus on the Family reports on new faith-based prison program that will "reduce recidivism through the healing power of Jesus."

A private company that operates prisons has joined forces with a Christian ministry to provide faith-based programs to inmates. The agreement between the Corrections Corporation of America (CCA) and the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) provides a voluntary program for inmates who feel that God can change their lives.

The General has no doubts that this program will be a huge success--perhaps even as great a success as my own faith based prison program. The involvement of the Institute in Basic Life Principles guarantees that. Its founder and president, Bill Gothard, is an unapologetic and uncompromising Christian who isn't afraid to fight for our Lord's most basic teachings. While others shirk from their responsibility to warn us about the evils of divorce, adoption, menstruation, and Cabbage Patch Dolls, he dares speak the truth.

In the obscenely titled article, "Little Soldiers in the Culture War," New Times reporter Bob Norman describes some of the issues Gothard fearlessly addresses:

Some of Gothard's rules that Fisher, a former enthusiastic follower of Gothard, and others have noted:

Married couples are never to divorce for any reason, including adultery.

Adult children are told not to leave home or get married without parental consent.

Married couples must abstain from sex during the following times: during the wife's menstrual cycle; seven days after the cycle; 40 days after the birth of a son; 80 days after the birth of a daughter; and the evening prior to worship. Gothard claims that periodic abstinence will help produce healthier children, can cure infections, and decrease "the danger of genetic abnormalities."

Listening to rock music, even Christian rock, is forbidden.

Borrowing money or buying on credit is forbidden.

Married women aren't to work outside the home.

Gothard even has rules on selecting makeup, preparing shopping lists, planning meals, picking dental plans, and choosing hairstyles, clothes, and vacation spots. Followers have said in published reports that he bans televisions in homes that buy his home-schooling program and that his ministry denounces almost every book but the Bible.

Adopted children, Gothard teaches, carry the sins of their biological parents with them. According to Fisher, Gothard wrote a letter to his followers in 1986 warning them of the evils of Cabbage Patch Dolls, which were very popular then. The dolls, which are "adopted" by their buyers in a written contract, caused strange, destructive behavior, according to the letter.

This isn't the only faith-based program that God has directed Gothard to bring to the people. His Character First! program, which teaches children the importance of blind obedience to authority, has been adopted by schools and juvenile facilities in half a dozen states. Our Leader's bother, Gov. Jeb Bush, backed a bill to require it's use in every public elementary school in Florida.

Looking at Norman's description of the program, it's easy to see why Our Leader's brother is so excited about it:

While the students at the Charter School of Excellence are divided fairly evenly between blacks and whites, they dress alike, with the boys in dark blue pants and green buttoned-up golf shirts and the girls wearing white blouses under plaid jumpers. All eyes are focused on their young and attractive teacher, Mrs. Blocker, who leads them in song:

Obedience is listening attentively,
Obedience will take instructions joyfully,
Obedience heeds wishes of authorities,
Obedience will follow orders instantly.
For when I am busy at my work or play,
And someone calls my name, I'll answer right away!
I'll be ready with a smile to go the extra mile
As soon as I can say "Yes, sir!" "Yes ma'am!"
Hup, two, three!

The ditty is capped off with a collective clap from all the happy children in the classroom. While singing songs about obedience and orderliness, they march in place, stand up straight, and occasionally salute in unison, giving the class a slightly militaristic feel.

<...>

In addition to instantly obeying their authority figures, they are to be grateful for the chance to follow orders ("I will show appreciation/To my authorities/I will write them notes of gratefulness/For all they've done for me"). The pupils are also taught to "guard my eyes, ears, words, and thoughts," and they are ordered to "abstain from anything which might damage or pollute my mind or body."

As a proud fundamentalist Christian, I'm very glad that men like Gothard are behind this great experiment to provide faith-based government services. Our Leader took a lot of heat when he first proposed it. People thought it would become a subsidy for nuttiness. Thank God, Gothard is proving them wrong.

---------

The General is very appreciative of LCol. Spectre's help while I was out on various missions. He was so good that the General is a bit intimidated--he's a hard act to follow.

I'm keeping his access open. Hopefully, he'll drop by whenever he has an opportunity to do so.