I stand ready to serve the people of Illinois as their Senator

As regular readers might recall, I recently sent an email to Illinois State Senator Dave Syverson berating him for recruiting Alan Keyes, a man who is either secretly working for the French or is absolutely insane, to run for the Senate against Osama. I asked him to correct his mistake by creating a scandal that would force Keyes to leave the race so that he could be replaced. Since the media loves sex scandals, I suggested that he and another state senator engage Mr. Keyes in a "three-way" during a Cubs game. He sent me his reply, today.

For the sake of continuity, I'm reposting my original letter below. It will be followed by Sen. Syverson's reply and my response.

My original letter:

Senator Dave Syverson
Senator Steve Rauschenberger
Illinois State Senate

Dear Sen. Syverson and Sen. Rauschenberger,

I see that the finger pointing has already begun over Alan Keyes' selection to challenge Osama for the Senate. You're blaming each other both publicly and privately in the press. My guess is that you share responsibility.

I think we can all agree on one thing. Alan Keyes is an agent provocateur hired by the Democrats to destroy the Illinois Republican Party's credibility. Either that, or he's utterly insane, because nobody is that stupid.

Think about it. He's been in the race for what, ten days, and he's already come out against the direct election of Senators, endorsed a slavery reparations scheme that would allow dead people to stop paying taxes, and blamed 9/11 on abortion.

The man is a laughingstock. He's going to lose the race. Worse yet, he's going to lose the race to Osama bin Laden, a terrorist who's on the FBI's most wanted list and can't campaign because Our Leader promised us his head three years ago.

Good God, what where you thinking when you dialed his number!

We need to convince him to pull out of the race. He's obviously not going to do it on his own, so we're going to need to create a scandal. It has to be big and that means sex--the media eats that stuff up.

No time for private investigators. You have to do it yourselves--you broke it; you fix it. I'm thinking of a three way at a Cubs game. As for staging, the photos would look best with Sen. Syverson taking him from behind and Sen. Rauschenberger going down on him, but I guess that part is really up to you.

Once he's out of the race, we convince Ted Nugent to run.

We're depending on you to turn this thing around. Don't disappoint us.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Sen. Syverson replies:

From: "Senator Dave Syverson"
To:
Subject:
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 14:19:40 -0500

Dear JC:

I read with interest your email regarding Alan Keyes. I'm not sure where you get your information from, it sounds like it is coming from newspapers and not from those of us who have been directly involved in the process. I have not blamed Steve Rauschenberger or myself for supporting Alan Keyes.

First, you need to understand how we got to this point. Jack Ryan was not my choice in the Primary, but it seemed to be the choice of many in the Party. It is unfortunate after he won the Primary the media acted improperly by going after custody hearing documents. When Ryan withdrew, we sought out a number of individuals to take his position, several that I supported. Individuals like Edgar, Rauschenberger, and Dillard to name a few. However, all of these individuals turned down the request to fill that appointment. So, with ninety days left in the campaign, the State Central Committee met to go through a number of names of individuals who might be interested in running. Of the seven or eight that were considered, a few were excellent prospects but they had no personal resources, and nothing committed from the National Republican Committee. These individuals would have no way to get their message out in that short period of time. So, the State Party whittled the list down to two for us to choose from, one choice was Alan Keyes and the second was Andrea Barthwell. If you read about the problems that Barthwell had and the fact that she had no resources or organization, there wasn't much of a choice to make.

As far as I know, no other serious contenders, that had resources available stepped up to the plate to run on the Republican ticket. If you or some others were interested, clearly we would have talked to you. Frankly, the response for Alan Keyes has been very good, especially because it is imperative that he help turn out disenfranchised conservatives in some key state legislative races and a key Supreme Court race going on in southern Illinois. Alan Keyes is taking in tens of thousands of dollars every day just from his website alone. He is able to debate Obama and say things about Obama that many of us are not in a position to be able to do.

As far as the three issues you highlighted, again, you must have only received information from the newspaper because I have heard him speak on the election of senators. What he was referring to is what the founding fathers had established. Senators would be appointed by state legislators so they would be more beholding to the states, thus giving states more authority. He was referring to the importance of having strong state rights and that if we had followed what the original founding fathers intended we wouldn't have as many of the national problems that we have. It sure makes sense to me.

Regarding reparations, I don't agree with him totally regarding this issue. But, again, listening to him in total context, he is not referring to the same thing Jesse Jackson or others have talked about. I wish people would concentrate more on his discussion of taxation, Second Amendment Rights, his concerns over our current Trade Policy that is costing Illinois thousands of jobs, and the problems with deep corruption in the Democratic Party that is having a negative affect on our state. These are issues that resonate well with Independents and Republicans throughout all of Illinois.

Lastly, for those individuals who think Keyes is too far to the right, he is clearly not as far to the right as Obama is to the left, and yet I hear very few people willing to criticize Obama for his extreme views.

Sincerely,

DAVE SYVERSON
State Senator

My response:

Senator Dave Syverson
Illinois State Senate

Dear Sen. Syverson

Thank you for your reply to my August 18 email. I am interested in representing Illinois as its Senator. I would have thrown my hat into the ring earlier, but, after all that was said about Hillary Klinton's disgraceful carpetbagging, I was under the impression that you were only seeking Illinois residents. Now that I know that you would have welcomed my candidacy, I'm ready and willing to serve the people of Illinois as their Senator.

I believe I have the resources to pull this off. I'm an internet publisher with a loyal following of readers who are eager to see me become a spokesman for conservative values. I will have no problem raising the funding I need from them.

I also have a ready-built organization, the American Christian Militia. I've served as its first and only commander for over ten years. My men would do anything for me, including starting a 527 organization if needed--they could call it Skinny Guys with Funny Names for Truth and claim that Obama is really Bob Peterson, the physically short and stocky president of the Duluth Chapter of the Sons of Norway.

We still need to get Keyes to pull out. You say that you aren't responsible for recruiting him. Aaron Chambers backs you up in an August 14 Rockford Register Star column where he writes that you blame Senator Rauschenberger. If that's the case, he broke it; he needs to fix it. Can you ask him to take Keyes to a Cubs game and introduce him to his "Little Rauschy?"

I'm looking forward to the campaign.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot