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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The most misunderstood scouting tradition

This must be a mistake:

The national director of programs for the Boy Scouts of America has been charged with receiving and distributing child pornography, the U.S. Attorney's office here told NBC News on Tuesday.

Douglas S. Smith Jr. was charged with one felony count of having photos that show "minors engaging in sexually explicit conduct."

Mr. Smith can't be a child pornographer. He's served us valiantly in the Red Guard of the Glorious Conservative Christian Revolution. Just look at his defense of Scouting's discrimination against Godless atheists and homosexuals:

Some intolerant elements in our society want to force scouting to abandon its values and to become fundamentally different. They want scouting to forego its constitutional rights, affirmed in 2000 by the Supreme Court in BSA v. Dale, and adopt fundamentally different values from the ones that helped shape the character of Mr. Collins and 106 million other young men over the past 94 years.

My guess is that the U.S. Attorney has misinterpreted innocent photos of the impromptu Spartan-style wrestling games held at every scouting jamboree and campout. Sure, they always end with some good, old-fashioned cornholing, but that's more about tradition than homosexuality. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't see the most prolific practitioners of the tradition beating up weaker scouts for being homosexual--a practice so common on the last day of a jamboree or campout, it's become an honored tradition as well. I bet even the most prominent people in America, people like Jeff Gannon, Karl Rove, and even Our Leader, have participated as beaters in the latter tradition.

A tip of the helmet to reader Scott for alerting the General to this.

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