United States Department of Defense
Dear CIFA,
As a reader of my blog, Jesus' General, since at least the Spring of 2004, CIFA is undoubtedly aware of my commitment to promoting Our Leader's patriotic vision in every post I write. Whether it's praise for His work prosecuting the Iraq Phase of the Eternal War to Resubjugate Brown People or the glorification of His mighty and terrible state security apparatus, of which you are an important piece, Jesus' General has been there reporting the good news.
Unfortunately, it's been a rather one-sided relationship. While my other readers helped me out when Hell's demons took possession of my computer, sent donations via PayPal and gifts via Amazon, or simply remembered me in their prayers, I've received absolutely nothing from you. It's time you stopped freeloading, and in your case, a prayer won't be enough.
You see, I've been following how the Department of Defense rewards it's friends. I've read about what your parent agency has done for corporations like Haliburton and MZM. Don't you think it's time I got a little something too?I'm not asking for much, just that you free up some of that black budget funding to buy me a Zenith P60W26P 60" Plasma Flat-Panel HDTV and a Sony DAV-FX100W Wireless Home Theater Dream System with all of the accessories for both. I've added these items to my Amazon wish list for your convenience. That should just about cover it for this quarter.
Oh, and a badge too. A big shiny gold badge that says "CIFA Special Agent" on it. That would be cool.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.