Rocket fuel, Buggery, and the Cash

Rep. Warren Chisum
Appropriations Committee Chair
Texas House of Representatives

Dear Chairman Chisum,

Thank you for exposing the Hebrew plot to poison our children's minds with Darwinislamunistofascism and it's evil twin, Copernislamunistofascism. Now it's time to take the next step, and as the chair of the Texas House Appropriations Committee, you're our best hope to do it.

You see, our beloved Texas is home to one of the most influential purveyors of Copernislamunistofascist propaganda, NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston. It is there that the false prophets of heliocentrism have concocted some of their greatest lies, hoaxes like the great geosynchronous satellite deception and the Mars Mission conspiracies, both of which are exposed at the web site you praised in your memo.

So what can you do about it? NASA is federal agency so you can't defund it, but there are a few measures you can take. First, you could sponsor a resolution demanding that Our Glorious Leader, George W. Bush, shut down the Johnson Space Center. If that doesn't work, you could appropriate funding to remove all of the roads to the facility. Finally, you could punish the Center's director in the same manner as Our Leader pledges to punish Osama bin Laden; that is to "screw him in the ass." That'll teach 'em.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to everyone who wrote me about this and an apology to Winston Churchill.