Her kid's mom

Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Her Kid's Mom

Dear Dr. Laura,

I'm saddened when I look at the young people in my town. They're lost souls, young men and women who've forsaken our most cherished traditional values and embraced such seductive evils as tolerance, respect, and unconditional love.

As you've pointed out so many times on your radio and your short-lived television shows (before the latter was murdered by homosexuals who angrily objected to being called "defective") these children's actions serve as indictments of their parent's child raising techniques. If only these parents had modeled their approaches on yours, the kids would be the kind of young men and young women who would would make Our Leader proud. They'd be more like your son, Deryk, "God's Little Paratrooper":

The soldier son of talk radio relationship counselor Laura Schlessinger is under investigation for a graphic personal Web page that one Army official has called 'repulsive.'

The MySpace page, publicly available until Friday when it disappeared from the Internet, included cartoon depictions of rape, murder, torture and child molestation; photographs of soldiers with guns in their mouths; a photograph of a bound and blindfolded detainee captioned 'My Sweet Little Habib'; accounts of illicit drug use; and a blog entry headlined by a series of obscenities and racial epithets.

Of course, that's how the media reported it, so it's written in a way that makes Deryk sound like a monster, but surely the victims of the rapes, murders, torture, and molestations were "Habibs," so it doesn't count. They are islamunistofascists after all.

In any event, I'm sure you are very proud, and you should be. Young Deryk is embracing your values with a vengeance. He is his mom's kid.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot