Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Bill O'Reilly Identifies the Enemy

Media Matters

Dear Media Matters,

After completing hundreds of hours of research by watching The O'Reilly Factor, I've identified America's enemy. It's a Kos reading, eight year old Sioux, Jewish, atheist, Mexican, anti-war, lesbian gangster, son of a World Trade center casualty who has shows on Air America and MSNBC and is using his position at Media Matters to take Christmas away from us.

Unfortunately, that's as far as I could narrow it down. We'll need your help to finally nail this dangerous perp. I'm enclosing an artists rendition of her. Please compare it to the various members of your staff. Once you have a match, convince the perp to sign a terrorist application. That'll give us an excuse to take her into custody, torture her into madness, and then try her in front of a jury composed of knuckledragging crackers.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.