Marching Man replies, I respond

Last Friday, I sent Marching Man an email asking if we could beat up the non-Christians who plan to attend the Million March for God he's organizing. Here's his reply:

From: Chuck Thompson
To: Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Subject: Re: Nonbelievers

Good day to you kind sir;

Thank you for the nice letter. I've been getting my butt kicked by the non believers all over the place and have been wondering where the believers are. You are right, we can't shoot them. As much as I would like to convert non believers, what we decided early in our quest, through experience, we will not allow conversions to take place, as it would become one big brawl of one Christian faith claiming superiority over another and we have Ireland over here. This is why the march must be non denominational. We want to bring people together, not further any kind of separation. This is a very tricky situation when bringing people together of varying faiths. Many Christian faiths teach us to minister to anyone and everyone. I'm for that per say, but must request it's limitations for the march so as not to anger our varying faiths. A Catholic does not see eye to eye with a Protestant. A Baptist does not see eye to eye with a Mormon. If we were to profess our faith strictly as, choosing Baptist for argument sake only, a Baptist ministry, then we are just shutting out all other Christian faiths.

For us, this is for Jesus and the Holy Trinity, yet it is about God. I have several Jewish friends, we choose to believe in God in our own ways and respect each other's faith. If I try to convert them, then I will loose a good friends, one who was the best man at my wedding. I look at it like this through Jesus direction, let the experience of the march convert any and all who have eyes and may they be opened to see. I'd be interested in your thoughts and or feelings on this.

Again, Thank You and God Bless You;

Chuck Thompson

and my response:

Chuck Thompson
Million March For God Blog

Dear Mr. Thompson,

Thanks for writing me back. You said you were interested in my thoughts and feelings, so I'll share them with you. I'm going to be frank here. Please don't take it personally.

It's no wonder the nonbelievers are kicking your ass. Your mind has been poisoned with the twin evils of ecumenicalism and tolerance of diversity. Do you think Our Lord, the God of Abraham and Issac, believes in that crap? Heck no. He sure as heck wasn't acting ecumenically when He drowned all of the children back in Noah's day.
And, by golly, he wasn't showing a lot of tolerance for diversity when He told the ancient Hebrews to slaughter the Midianites, Caananotes, Moabites, and Perizzites. God meant business back then and people respected Him for it.

Too many of us, including you apparently, have bought into this wimpy, girly man Jesus the wussy religions like the Episcopalians have been foisting on us all these years. This is the same Jesus the libislaminstofascists say wouldn't approve of torturing or bombing our potential enemies. Belief in this wimpy Jesus is undermining our national security.


I think it's time we get back to preaching about Dirty Harry's Jesus--the one Pastor Doug Giles talks about--the Jesus who tore the moneychangers a new one when he caught them charging transaction fees at the Temple. Don't you?

And to that end, I'm creating a float for the Million March for God. Don't worry, I won't use flowers; beer cans and jerky will be my media. The float will feature a manly, patriotic Jesus beating, tasering, and waterboarding a potential terrorist, while yelling, "Thou art a scumbag" and laughing manically. That'll show those wussy Episcopalians what our Jesus is all about.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot