Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Monday, February 16, 2009

My Own Personal Battle for Purity

Yes, I'm embarrassed to tell my story, but I love you and want to save you from the fiery pits of hell. So please watch this and remember that you hurt Jesus when you touch your melons.

11 comments:

  1. I hope you got tested for melonicktis! I swear I have seen that melon in other videos....

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  2. General, Sir:

    I'll never hear the term "spiked watermelon" in quite the same way, after this. I applaud you for your courage and candor. I, personally, haven't touched a melon in years. I do have an odd attraction to bananas, zucchini, cucumbers and those really long, slender eggplants--is there any danger in that?

    BTW, Sir, shouldn't that be an "Ex-Melonabator" t-shirt?

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  3. <---- shrieking with appreciative delight, accompanied once again by the demise of my poor coffeespat keyboard. maybe i just need to plan ahead and buy keyboards in bulk . . .

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  4. Seedless or non? And I see that melons prefer Marlboro's, that explains why my little Honey Dew never accept's a Winston from me.

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  5. Being well read, my "sin" is liver. Damn you Philip Roth.

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  6. A magnificent exploration of one man's Meloncholia! I give it Two Divorce Aids Up!

    I especially enjoyed the Tempurpedic pillow your Organic Lover is resting upon. You got class, General. You got class.

    ++++

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  7. Its Melonphilia isn't it?

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  8. You got a purity mouth...

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  9. and the Oscar for best animated short goes to.....

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  10. General Sir! I think you've started a melon meme

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.