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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Out of the loins of babes

Michaela Aston
Life Charity

Dear Mrs. Aston,

I saw your quote about the 13 year old father and I couldn't agree more. I hope other Sun readers join you in "commend[ing] these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world," because that's what these kids need most of all, a pat on the back.

That's what I like about compelled-childbirth organizations like yours. You spend a great deal of money giving guidance to pregnant teens without falling into what I like to call, "the what's next trap." You know what I mean. A kid has a baby. We congratulate her, and it should stop there, but there are some who say, "shouldn't we do more than simply say 'good girl;' shouldn't we be helping her and the boy prepare for what's next, the actual parenting?'

It's an easy trap to fall into, especially when a 13 year old father says things like:
"I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10." 
But damn it, these children committed a sin, and, as you obviously understand, providing real help to them and their baby would only condone that sin. Parenthood is their punishment, and it is wrong for anyone, other than God, to intervene.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste and biblically appropriate kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. Herr Hinnyral, You have made me green with envy, I just wish I had this one life to do over. To realize at this late date that I could have finished with parenthood so much earlier and had my finer years free of restraints and obligations and the freedom to enjoy them. I also could have had oh so much support and notoriety, being treated like a returning hero from the war on sex would have suited me much more than the not so much appreciated crap I had to deal with. I'll spend the rest of the day trying to get this, "what could have been" out of my mind, I guess I just blew it. Well, no use crying over spilt sperm as it were. Respectfully submitted in Chreatinly remorseful spirit

  2. He has the chance to be a grandfather at 26-27. How cool is that?
    A classmate of mine in HS knocked up his fifteen year old girlfriend, of course he did the right thing. When we came home from college on breaks we loved to visit Jim in his 33yr old mother-in-laws trailer. Cozy set-up, the young couple, the infant and major MILF. You can imagine the hi-jinx that ensued.

  3. I get the feeling that this story is going to end up being a hoax, like the woman who swam across the Atlantic.

  4. Who said, the woman swimming across the Atlantic was a hoax? I've been believing that story, how about a reference?

    Other youngsters are stepping forward, there is a lot of glory to be had in the wingnut world for the winner of that paternity test, assuming they're young enough not to run afoul of criminal stuff which quickly comes to mind when one thinks about sex and teenagers having it.

  5. which one is the baby?

  6. Re: The Woman Who Didn't Swim the Atlantic

  7. Check out this new Christian band that just released their first album. From what I heard on the samples site, they sound really good.

    Introducing the new Christian National Anthem: Guns & Jesus.

    Tell All!!!

  8. Silly General! Life is precious- until it exits the womb. Then who cares if it's cared for properly or starves to death? As long as that life got out of the womb, religion's job is done.

  9. This is appalling. Teenage girls with (just) teenage boys having children.. in *public*?!? society has gone to the dogs. This never happened in the Good Old Days (tm).

    In the Good Old Days (tm) where God was everywhere, pregnant teenage girls were sent off to convents in the country and we would never speak of it again. Just like God intended.

  10. "The woman who didn't swim the Atlantic," What crap they could be a little more tenacious and defend the fraud a little longer than it took me to swallow it. That's what really pisses me off, it's not so much being duped, but not even letting me enjoy it for a period long enough to "suffer" when I'm dispelled of my naivety. This makes me want to cling to my illusions even harder before someone yanks them away again. Chreatinnly appreciative spirit

  11. It's been, like, a billion years since I took Biology, and I can barely remember the chapter on human reproduction because I spent most of the time looking at the pictures, but something just doesn't ring right about this story.

    Is it physically possible for 12 year old boy, whose voice has yet to change, to produce viable semen? The fact that his voice hasn't changed indicates to me that his testosterone levels are still prepubescent. He can sport wood, sure, but can he plant acorns? I just don't think so, but maybe I'm wrong.

    The more I think about this story, the more I think some adult got that girl pregnant, then to save himself a jail sentence convinced this little boy he is the father.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.