Minnesota State Senate
Dear Sen. Koering,
I never thought I'd be writing the gay, even a Republican the gay like yourself, but you did something this week that deserves my heartfelt thanks. You announced you would uphold one of our nation's most cherished segregationist traditions and vote to deny yourself the right to marry the one you love. Certainly, it's that kind of self-hating toadyism that earned you a Republican Hero Award from the Log Cabin Republicans (what a fine, "real American" name--they must be true patriots of the Heartland, perhaps even lumberjacks.)
I was particularly impressed by the explanation you gave KLKS radio:
Koering, who is gay and a Republican, said he would vote against it because the state faces bigger problems.And it is true. The state does face bigger problems than providing equal protection to all of its citizens, and you are sponsoring bills to address those problems.
Take SR15 for instance. Nothing is more important to the well-being of the citizens of Minnesota than passing your resolution honoring Mary J. Brenny. She owned both her town's ambulance service and mortuary, thus providing one stop service to the good citizens of Morrison County. You have to honor that kind of service.
The same holds true for SF3557. If you don't make English the official language, the brown people win. The whole state would be speaking Mexican and eating spicy foods by 2015.
These are both important bills. Thank God you had the courage to vote against marriage equality so you could devote more energy to their passage.
But I still have to wonder why someone who is the gay would do that? It's about as self-hating an act as I can imagine. Are you absolutely sure you're the gay and not just another heterosexual conservative who enjoys putting another man's little soldier in your mouth from time to time? You might consider giving that a little thought. Maybe you could talk to Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, and Bob Allen about it. They might be able to help you out with your sexual confusion.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot