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Monday, April 06, 2009

Helping Sally Kern Save Hot Heterosexual Humanphibian Scroggin'

Sen. Randy Brogdon
Oklahoma State Senate

cc: Rep. Sally Kern

Dear Sen. Brogdon,

Considering your recent Ten Commandments victory, I think you have a great shot of getting the gubernatorial nod in the next election. I mean, hey, while everyone else was stumbling over each other to get any old version of the Big Ten placed on the capital grounds, you shut out the Catholics and Jews by demanding that only the Oklahoma version be allowed.

Now, while I'm happy the Revised Sooner Version includes, "Y’all shall not kill," I'm a bit concerned that I haven't seen the other nine. I hope Rep. Sally Kern gets a chance to help craft the one on adultery. It'd be a real shame if you omitted a loophole allowing for her favorite form of coupling, hot heterosexual humanphibian scroggin'. Maybe it could go something like this:
Y'all shall not do no fornicatin' or adultery or any kind of corn-holin' or bum-juggin' or putting your little sooner in someone's mouth or whatnot except with maybe a toad or a frog or a mule or any other opposite-sex water critter created by our Lord, five-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine-years-and-three-hundred-and-fifty-one-days-ago.
Yes, I think that will do it.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

9 comments:

  1. It is about time that someone talks about this subject. Thanks for having the fortitude to preach the right message, too many people won't so that they can be "PC". You are wonderful and the Lord wants the message delivered.
    Jack O'Sullivan
    Bedroom Sets

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  2. General Sir!

    I see you found a real nice picture of Rep. Kern dressed in her Sunday Best Nascar jumpsuit. It is really great of you to let us see her at her best.

    It's also really great that you highlight her ability to count so high. Women with math and science skills are greatly needed to provide examples to the notmen youth of America.

    Nice folksy post all the way around!

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  3. I loved the way Keith Jackson used to call out "Oklahoma" whenever he called a game on ABC that included (naturally) the Oklahoma Sooners. Ooh, and the Rogers and Dag Hammarskjöld musical. That was fun too.

    Well, that's it. That's all I know about Oklahoma. Sorry about the mule fucking.

    ++++

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  4. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    I thought Dag Hammarskjöld was a rapper.

    General, Sir:

    That Sally Kern is one USRIwouldnotLF, even with someone else's little soldier. Perhaps that is her problem; she can't get her own rocks off, so she tries to stop the GAYvalanche from buryin' Murka under hot manonmansex.

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  5. Is there really a town in Arkansa named Toad Suck? If so, why?

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  6. Capt. Guano: This website (http://www.epodunk.com/cgi-bin/genInfo.php?locIndex=59661) has information about the town. However, they are calling for "Toad Suck photos" so I'm not sure if we can trust their information.

    Also, they say the name has something to do with riverboat men and whiskey licking. But how someone confuse the two, I do not know. Where's Bill Clinton when you need him.

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  8. Also, they say the name has something to do with riverboat men and whiskey licking. But how someone confuse the two, I do not know. Where's Bill Clinton when you need him.
    I see you found a real nice picture of Rep. Kern dressed in her Sunday Best Nascar jumpsuit. It is really great of you to let us see her at her best.
    Sell Digital Products

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.