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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Is Rep. Bill Posey the Bastard Son of a Socialist Ex-President of France?

Rep. Bill Posey
U.S. House of Representatives

Dear Rep Posey,

I'm a big supporter of your work to use the birth certificate issue to remind everyone that Obama's father had sexual relations with a white woman. Indeed, I thought I'd try to lend you a hand with it earlier today. My thinking was that I could use you as an example to demonstrate how easy it is to prove a person's citizenship. Unfortunately, my research lead me to the conclusion that you also may not be a citizen..

I can find no records for you prior to your move to Florida in 1956. It's like you did not exist. A search for your rather curious surname--what kind of a name is Posey, anyway; it sounds like a flower not a man--revealed that it is an English name, originating in Oxfordshire.

That made me wonder. Why would there be people named after flowers in Oxfordshire? It'd make more sense that was a French name. They're kind of a foofy people, the French. Could it be, I wondered, that you are actually French and are trying to hide that fact by working in league with genealogists to falsify the location of the Posey ancestral home?

So I started poking around French web sites. Eventually, I came across a photo of Francois Mitterand, the socialist ex-president of France, and your resemblance to him is striking!

After running a battery of tests (see attached graphics), I'm fairly certain he is your father. That leads me to believe that you, sir, are a citizen of France rather than the United States.

I demand to see your birth certificate.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Test Results:

Near-exact combover correlation.

Exact cyanic diffusion around eyes and lips.

Visually calibrated measurement of eyes and nostrils reveal perfect biometric match.

Readers: I urge you all to join me in contacting* Rep Posey and demanding that he provide his birth certificate.

*Zip+4 for a the gay bar in his district is 32960-5454


  1. Great work, General! This is just the tip of the fondue, as they say in Frogtopia. Why are there so many wang-whackers in the GOP? Could it be the French have taken over La Grande Parti?

    We may get our party back!


  2. Can't argue with science!

  3. A more appropriate comparison might have been Posey's face with Mitterand's posterior region, but I will have to accept your truly brilliant work.

    Well done.

  4. .
    Vous avez raison, mon chèr Général! Le père de votre Representative était un Ministre dans la Quatrième République alors, mais il a été lié avec une certaine femme Américaine, qui est, peut-être, la mère de M. Posé. Je vous présente un foto à partir des dossiers de SDEC de cette femme, avec mes compliments.

  5. here's Cosa's comment translated:

    You're right, my dear General! The Representative of your father was a Minister in the Fourth Republic when, but it has been linked with some American woman who is perhaps the mother of Mr. Posé. Here is a foto from the ESDP records of this woman, with my compliments.

  6. Frist remote visual biometrics! Hilarious!

  7. The good Rep Posey has yet to discover the line between being noticed and being ridiculed.

    He needs to step back before the rotten eggs fly.

    And he will then realize that anonymity has its advantages.

  8. Christianity is a demoniac false religion that was created simply to control society and keep everyone brainwashed. Christianity amounts to nothing more than a mind control system. Jesus's true teachings were edited out of the Bible thousands of years ago, and replaced with dogma. Those who follow the modern dogma version of Christianity are all going to hell. Wake up now, you slaves, or else you will all go to hell!

  9. Well, I'm relieved to hear that hell wasn't edited out too. I would hate to be left with no place to send some of the sorry bastards that I occasionally run into. Killing them and then later finding them residing in the same place I'm going seems so just not right. Hell, you don't have to be a genius, something I've never been accused of, to know that God wouldn't design something that wrong.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.