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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Sally Kern to ask Sarah Palin to spare nation using God's power of attorney

Rep. Sally Kern
Oklahoma House of Representatives

Dear Rep Kern,

Your Proclamation of Morality is absolutely the best work you've done since winning the fight to keep amphibiosexual relationship books on Oklahoma's library shelves. It's a masterpiece, really. You identify the point source for every problem our nation faces in just seventeen preamble clauses. And I do mean every point source; the whole ball of vasoline from divorce and homosexuality to the secretly Amish Obama's refusal to participate in the National Prayer Breakfast.

But it's in the last of three resolution clauses where you really shine:
BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin.
Praise Jesus, that is beautiful. I teared up from simply reading it. No doubt it will touch Our Lord and Savior's immaculate heart as well.

That is if He actually reads it.

My guess is that He doesn't really follow the Oklahoma legislature all that closely. I mean, why should He? You do a great job of persecuting the gay, the brown, and the poor all by yourself. He knows you have his back, so He focuses His attention where it's needed--like in Africa; somebody has to smite all those hungry children.

So you might think about taking a more aggressive approach to putting the resolution before Him. I'd suggest you talk to Sarah Palin about it. Apparently, God have her His power of attorney. She's writing his letters for Him:
[Palin] wrote the e-mail not in her own name but in God's, and signed it "Trig's Creator, Your Heavenly Father."
So that should be your plan. Deliver the resolution to Gov. Palin and have her spare the nation using her God-given power of attorney.

Amphibiosexual supportingly yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. Ah, Sarah. You either love her or you hate god.


  2. I dutifully read all of the 'Whereas''s from the Good Sister Sally, and she seems to have forgotten that our Lord And Savior threw the moneychangers (bankers) out of the Temple because lending money with interest (usury) was a defilement of the House of The Lord. Where is her 'Whereas' regarding the bankers having taken down the economy?

    Sister Kerns seems to be obsessed with gay-male sex, and is manufacturing reasons to explain why it is on her mind. I'm not so sure this fits into her contrived Founding Fathers backstory.

    Instead of copying and pasting colonial luminaries out of context, maybe reading the red font in the four gospels will give her a clue 'Whereas' to live her 'christian' life.

  3. Juicing the Fruits

    by James Nimmo

    (OKLAHOMA CITY) I'm sure the sham of appearing at the Capitol and giving the impression this is a legislative procedure is exactly what was intended when GOPer Sally Kern and Krew planned their morality proclamation ceremony on July 2 in Oklahoma City.

    If she were interested in promoting only morality and not instead, introducing her personal religious restrictions, why isn't she using her own church, Olivett Baptist, as her backdrop?

    As always with the mentally unbalanced words and actions are morphed into absurd definitions and shapes. Lies to support other lies are always invented, regardless of how holy the intent of the lies is supposed to be.

    She speaks of divorce as contributing to national decline. How short her memory is for anything except bible verses.

    Kern's patron saint, Ronald Reagan, was divorced, as is Newt Gingrich and Rumbaugh twice each. Sen. Vitter of LA likes diaper sex with paid escorts and Gov. Sandford of SC abandons his family and state duties to amorize in Argentina. Gov. Palin of AK can't teach her eldest daughter to say simple words like, "No".

    When you don't set yourself up on a high soap box in the first place and then mistake it for a psychiatrist's office you don't have to fall so inevitably far when you come up short in your own life.

    Kern should spend more time looking at the fruit falling close to her family tree ( ) before she tries to juice the private lives of others.

  4. Which begs the question, who wins in a fistfight, Sarah Palin or Lemmy from Motorhead?

  5. "Juicing the fruits" - Excellent.
    Holier than thou Moralists, worked into a frenzy by projecting their own picadillos onto lemmings they 'represent' are falling faster than a new brides' panties.
    er, I'm just sayin'......


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.