Oklahoma House of Representatives
Dear Rep Kern,
Your Proclamation of Morality is absolutely the best work you've done since winning the fight to keep amphibiosexual relationship books on Oklahoma's library shelves. It's a masterpiece, really. You identify the point source for every problem our nation faces in just seventeen preamble clauses. And I do mean every point source; the whole ball of vasoline from divorce and homosexuality to the secretly Amish Obama's refusal to participate in the National Prayer Breakfast.
But it's in the last of three resolution clauses where you really shine:
BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin.Praise Jesus, that is beautiful. I teared up from simply reading it. No doubt it will touch Our Lord and Savior's immaculate heart as well.
That is if He actually reads it.
My guess is that He doesn't really follow the Oklahoma legislature all that closely. I mean, why should He? You do a great job of persecuting the gay, the brown, and the poor all by yourself. He knows you have his back, so He focuses His attention where it's needed--like in Africa; somebody has to smite all those hungry children.
So you might think about taking a more aggressive approach to putting the resolution before Him. I'd suggest you talk to Sarah Palin about it. Apparently, God have her His power of attorney. She's writing his letters for Him:
[Palin] wrote the e-mail not in her own name but in God's, and signed it "Trig's Creator, Your Heavenly Father."So that should be your plan. Deliver the resolution to Gov. Palin and have her spare the nation using her God-given power of attorney.
Amphibiosexual supportingly yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot