Ann Coulter: Jew Hunter

A lot of great research is coming out now. First, there's the prenis news I broke on Friday. That's huge. If the prenis is indeed uncut, it means Obama can't be Muslim, and must be, as my research indicates, a reptillian alien from the Slzrd Star System.

I've also learned that Ann Coulter's investigation of AU's Rev. Barry Lynn has finally born fruit. Sister Coulter had a hunch that Rev. Lynn started out in life as an un-Jesused Juden. She acted on that hunch by commanding her followers to lay down their beer bongs and seek out the evidence she needed to prove her thesis. Specifically, she told them to look for photos from Lynn's bar mitzvah.

That's where her research effort stalled. Her instructions confused her followers. Words like "thesis" and "bar mitzvah" sounded foreign to them, so they responded in the only way they knew how. They mobbed town hall meetings and screamed about Mexicans from Kenya as they tried to slip roofies to the LaRouche chicks.

Fortunately, she didn't need them in the end. The threat of exposure eventually broke Lynn and he surrendered something even more damning than a few bar mitzvah pics: a birth certificate issued in Cameroon.

And it's written in French!