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Friday, August 21, 2009

Barack Obama Show US Your Penis

The fine Real Americans at the Free Republic have found Obama's achilles heel: his Long Dark Staff of White Insecurity.
hoosiermama:
The only other thing that hit me was that Sinclair said BO was not circumcised. When my son was born in a hospital that was done as a matter of routine without even consulting us. Would the same be for Hawaii? OTOH People born at home or in some other cultures are not circumcised.

thecodont:
A relative of mine was born (in a hospital) a couple of years after BO's alleged birth date. He was circumcised also (as a matter of routine, not according to any family request).

afraidfortherepublic:
My son was born in June of 1961 in a hospital in CA, and the nurses released us because of miscommunication in a day and a half before the circumcision was done. We had to go back to the doctor’s office to have it done a week later, and the doctor was NOT HAPPY. My second son was born in the same hospital 4 years later. I don’t remember them asking me about it. Routine procedure for little boys.

hoosiermama:
Wish we had someone to make a phone call to the hospitols in HI and ask if they routinely do circumcism and when that practice started.

MHGinTN:
You might want to make that call to a Canadian hospital ...

MHGinTN:
No...it would have been in Kenya....not Canada.

Natural Born 54
I am having a vision of a court room scene. The judge turns to O sitting in the witness chair to his left and says “I am sorry, Mr. President, but I am going to have to ask you to stand and drop trou .....”

hoosiermama:
More than likely an exam from a court appointed DR. :~)
Humiliating either way....caught by his own private parts....er something like that.

Helmet Tip: Cell Whitman

40 comments:

  1. Okay … but I thought the Muslins practiced circumcision.

    (I got this from reading Rohinton Mistry’s A Fine Balance. Great book if you wanna get really fucking depressed every so often. And I refuse to link to Amazon or B&N; if you want to get that book, go to Dan ’n Tammy’s joint.)

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  2. The Continuing Adventures of Nikki Freiberg, Private Eye

    I was sitting at my desk when I thought to myself "I wonder if Obama's penis has been snipped?" An idle thought, that's all it was, and I let it go. What, I should think about that forever? No way. Still...Barack's penis was just the sort of penis that could get into a lot of trouble...dames, gambling, zippers. He's lucky it didn't get arrested and cuffed every single day of his life...but the cuffs--what about the cuffs? They could slip right off, if his salami kept its hood in the up position. Would that be a hoody? I wondered as the day turned to evening, and the President's schvonce still dangled in the air of my musing.

    Just then she walked in: ma.

    "Are you too busy to call your mother, Mr. Fancy Private Detective?" she bleated.

    "Ah, ma..." I sighed, just as I saw her open her handbag and produce what looked to be an executive schnitzel.

    "Ma, what in the name of Isaac have you got there?"

    She smiled, like a school girl she smiled, she made me very uncomfortable, like when I used to bring girls home and she talked about powdering my ass when I was a toddler. I don't bring girls to her house anymore--what, I look retarded to you?

    All these thoughts were running through my mind, thoughts getting all chapped and creating a rash, when ma points the penis to the ceiling and cried out to God: "Forgive me, Yahweh, but I got this here dick and I ain't giving it back, no way, no how."

    I felt a headache coming on, a headache like you would not believe. Then, because it was National Fuck You Nikki Day someone pounded on the front door. I opened it and in walked Michelle Obama's vagina, as big as life and ten times stronger.

    "Give me back what is mine," she cried.

    I'll tell you the rest of the story some day. Or not. Oy, this headache!

    ++++

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  3. Dave is right. But this is the beauty of the strategery!

    When Obama the Lizard Person from Kenya is finally forced to show his schlong in a deposition, after a year where the not-Presidential member is the focus of more media attention than anything since Janet Jackson's nipple, he loses either way! If it's unsnipped, that proves he was born outside the U.S. If he's a helmet-head, that proves he's Muslim. Then he can be impeached for lying and imprisoned at a black site (heh heh) prison, because it would be wrong to not look back at past crimes. At least when they've been comitted by a secret non-citizen and/or Muslim lizard person from another planet.

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  4. Psssst, Dave, Dave von Ebers:

    Hey, man, how can you tell if you're circus sized?

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  5. Do we know anyone who was in HS Gym class with Obama?

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  6. Dan, they don't have gym in madrassas. The onliest chance you'd get is finding someone who peeked up his shalwar kameez when he was bending over to excite Catholic priests -- I mean, pray to the false god at the pagan shrine in the oily desert.

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  7. Why do I have visions of the commenters on that thread rubbing their naughty bits with one hand while typing with the other?

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  8. They're only doing that to remind themselves that they were born in the USA. The men, at least. I have my suspicions why the female commenters are doing it when thinking about the notPresident's members-only club. The one or two real women, not the guys who enjoy pretending to be girls online. That gets into a whole 'nuther rationale for them rubbing...

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  9. My Satire is dead,

    Their reality has has not only lapped my Satire (twice) it has thrown it though the window into the swimming pool and drowned it... then burned it up with the ungodly strength of stupid fire.

    My Satire is dead,
    no flowers, donations to ActBlue "Standing up for the public option"

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  10. Surely, there will now be billboards and bumper stickers all over the place, proclaiming that burning question: "Where's the foreskin?"

    The crazy just keeps gettin' crazier.

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  11. PW: They'll be called The Snippets.

    And, by the way, please don't call us 'Shirley.'

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  12. Born in the Midwest, circa 1950. My parents decided against circumcising me, based on the recommendation of our family doctor. Now I suppose the freepers will be demanding to see MY penis and wondering whether our family physician was also a member of a health care death panel

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  13. P.S. I presume the Freepers believe the reason all boys (and some girls, no doubt) get circumcised in the USA is due to our totally socialized health care system and the long-established custom of sending newborns to a session with the foreskin death panel.

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  14. Greatest Pickup Line Ever: "I suppose you're going to demand to see my penis..."

    ++++

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  15. The right is getting more impatient. They didn't get around to obsessing about Clinton's penis until,what, 1998?

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  16. MoJo: I think they should be called "Skinners."

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  17. Bukko in Australia:

    Since it's the Democrats ONLY that they're concerned about, they should be called the "Mule Skinners". Good morning, captain; Good morning to you!

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  18. While I was teabagging, I started to think about Obama's penis, and......

    What is it with the GOP and their dick obsession. I know they're all a bunch of dicks, but I thought that was only rhetorical!

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  19. "Okay … but I thought the Muslins practiced circumcision."

    I thought that was when they turned 13.

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  20. When my son was born in 1983, I was asked if I wanted him circumcised. I think by law the parents have to agree. I said THANKS BUT NO THANKS. I thought and still do, it's a crime to mutilate a little boy. He's 26 now and grateful I made that decision.

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  21. Do you know that's exactly what the Nazi's did in Germany. They used to make the Jews pull down their pants to see if they were real Germans or not. Shame on all of you.

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  22. Interestingly, an NYT article completely unrelated to Obama indicates that the circumcision rate was never higher than 80%, and lower among blacks.

    But newborn circumcision rates have dropped in recent decades, to about 65 percent of newborns in 1999 from a high of about 80 percent after World War II, according to C.D.C. figures. And blacks and Hispanics, who have been affected disproportionately by AIDS, are less likely than whites to circumcise their baby boys, according to the agency.

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  23. I don't know what this obsession is that white folks have with penises but I was born in 1952 in a foreign hospital where you had to specifically request to be circumcised, unlike the US where it was standard practice at the time. I am Roman Catholic and I have never been at all concerned about the size of my penis and have never had any complaints.

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  24. It's penises all the way down with these folks.

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  25. Dave von Ebers, when they're 13, they go for the snip. It's a passage into manhood. Ironic, since it requires removal of the 'man hood.'

    Here, you just graduate 8th grade, then you're a man.

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  26. Are they trying to find out if he is a Jew?

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  27. i love how all these people seem to know the foreskin status of assorted relatives. someone start a rumor, obama has a prince albert, that will get the freeper tongues waggin, no double entendre intended of course. my suggested name, the turtleneckers. prepuceans,

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  28. I'm not following the freeper logic. That's probably a good thing. Is he supposed to be circumcised? Or not? Now they're afraid that he's Jewish?

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  29. Oh, and apparently my ex-boss is a birther. He told me that on Obama's birth certificate they use the language "Afro-American," and that language wasn't used at that time, so it's bogus. [sighs]

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  30. You can bet that just beneath the blandly psychotic surface lurks an army of Wagering Demons.
    --
    Jenifer
    Wireless Home Alarm Security Systems

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  31. In next week's YouTube video, Obama should just whip it out, jack off, use his birth certificate as a cum rag, throw it at the camera, resign, and move to a cilivized country. We'll gladly accept your BBC Nazi socialist overlord up here in Canada. Not sure what the status of our politican's cocks may be, but they sure as hell have no balls.

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  32. I want to see the rightwingnuts' first.

    Then, I'll decide who are the real terrorists.

    S

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  33. And I thought all those "Blazing Saddles" parodies when Obama was running last year couldn't be topped. But, no, we may actually come, ahem!, to a point when the POTUS might have to say in court, "Excuse me while I whip this out..."

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  34. This is rediculous. I was born in Texas and I wasn't cirumcised. I don't know what hospitals they went to, but cirumcision isn't something that doctors "just do" without the parents consent. It is surgery for chirst's sake.

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  35. "Muslins" are circumcised eh? I really do wonder when that became a common practice for cheese cloths.

    Also, any possible cotton-picker jokes and puns aside, I didn't thing you would actually start calling him by the actual fabric his grandfathers gathered.

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  36. It is surgery for chirst's sake.

    I don't know if it's surgery for this "chirst" fellow, but it's also surgery for Allah's sake! And therein lies the problem.

    Diabolical, isn't it, how the Mahometans and Hebrewskis conned American doctors into putting their mark on the manliness of so many American babies. OR MAYBE IT WASN'T A CON!

    Maybe the medicos are in on it too! And maybe the tablets they prescribe for us AREN'T for our "high blood pressure" or "diabetes" or other supposed "illnesses" that are actually caused by daemonic infestation. They're secretly sapping our precious bodily fluids, and Semiticising us!

    Oh My God! And when they take over and pull our pants down, they'll know who's onnathem, and make us join in their Satanic army!

    That's it! I'm going to have to cut off my tallywhacker to destroy the evidence. Lord, guide my hand and give me strength...

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  37. Anyway, the main point is that, except in the minds of wingnut lunatics, there is no federal law in this country compelling circumcision. It was always only a recommended procedure, by doctors and not bureaucrats. But, hey, as the wingnutters well know, you must take into account the slippery-slope effect of health care reform. First the foreskin death panel talks you into giving your newborn son the snip, and the next thing you know the gummint is harvesting his organs. It's the DMV death panel!

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  38. ... and while we're asking to see the presidential trouser snake, let's check if the wingnuts have nuts.

    I've heard both Hitler and Franco was one short...

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  39. The Birthers are Nutters.

    If President BO is cut, that is consistent with his having been born in a Honolulu hospital in 1960. The vast majority of white babies born in urban hospitals between 1940 and 1980, were snipped. It is also consistent with his father being a Muslim, although Muslim tradition does it between age 4 and puberty.

    If the President is uncut, that is consistent with his mother being an intellectual free spirit, ahead of her time. Or she may have been loyal to the way johnsons looked like in the Kansas farm country she grew up in. In my experience, when you raise the subject of the snip with a woman, she quickly describes her male blood relatives. They are the ones that laid down for her what johnson should look like.

    BTW, I am surprised by the number of you who have posted above that you (or your fathers/lovers/brothers) are red blooded 100% Americans, yet have all the tackle God intended you to have. Others of you march under the slogan: In God We Trust, but Leave Your Foreskins at the Door.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.