Olive Baptist Church
Dear Pastor Traylor,
White Christian America is in trouble. As you point out in your blog, our great nation is under assault "by Illegal [sic] immigrants, secularization of public schools, and Muslims living here in numbers which make them a religious percentage of the population."
Now, the evil is even finding it's way to you in Pensacola metro area. Just last week, a vicious ring of drag queens stole all of the county's best man-sized dresses.But that's not the worst of it. One of your congregants, Pace High School Principal Frank Lay, is facing felony contempt of court charges for bringing his heathen students to Jesus through compelled prayer. Sure, he violated a court order, but he was serving a higher purpose: saving the little Jewish kids' souls.
There's a long history of that kind of fellowshipping of the un-Jesused in Escambia County. The local Klan brought Jesus' message of love to the Pace's needy for nearly a century. My own wife, Ofjoshua, experienced that love back in the Seventies when a cross was burned on her lawn just a few blocks from Principal Lay's school.
The federal courts don't know it yet, but they picked a fight with the wrong guy. The locals--at least the ones that count--love and respect him as a true son of the Confederacy. They know a large portrait of Robert E. Lee dominates his office. They know his favorite band is Lynyrd Skynyrd. They know he worked hard to turn Pace High School into what they now proudly refer to by its nickname "The Baptist Academy." And they know that in spite of the court order, Lay requires his teachers to look after their students' "spiritual development."The federal courts are turning Principal Lay into a martyr. He will now become a symbol of all that the good white Christians of Florida Panhandle hate. And from the looks of his sermon at your church, he'll team up with you to fuel their anger even more. The un-Jesused of Escambia will no doubt pay very dearly for that.
Praise his name.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
p.s. I'm a little concerned about the Bible conference you're holding at your church in September. One of your speakers, Perry “Airhead” Robbins, appears to be sporting a balloon penis in his photo. That ain't right.
