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Sunday, August 23, 2009
Sears Tests my Commitment to Capitalism
Posted by
Anonymous
Is it socialist to question Sears' decision to market baby roasters?
Sears is the bomb! I was lucky enough to serve on a Death Panel where afterwards we enjoyed a delicious BBQ Baby Back Ribs dinner that had been slow roasted to perfection (along with Creamed Children of the Corn). I just wish they'd cut the heads off before putting them on the table: the little tyke just stared ahead like some ghoul. Shudder!
Note: don't try to swallow kiddie gristle. It will choke you something fierce.
It's all Obama's fault! You called it long ago. He's Gozer the Gozerian, come down to eat our babies. At least Obaba's got enough culture that he's not going to devour them as babysushi.
It is written in Deuteronomy 28:53 (New International Version) "...you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the LORD your God has given you." So why should the wasteful government roast babies when citizens and small businesses can do it much more efficiently and less expensively?
JCrickey, a fun game to play is flipping open God's One and Only Holy Bible to a random page and reading until you get to a section that dwells upon something that's either murderously criminal, sexually perverse or delusionally insane. Usually doesn't take more than a printed page, especially if you've landed in the Hebrew part of the Testaments...
Buttermilk Sky: we have endeavored to avoid referencing the ingestion of Irish children for a couple of very good reasons. #1: Last year's Mason Jars picnic was a disaster, and if you think puking up Gaelic chum is entertaining, well, you have another thing coming, your degree in the occupier's language notwithstanding. #2: Eating Irish children is so 18th century, which if we'd thought about that fact at the company picnic we could have avoided our collective gastric nightmare. 'Tis a sore spot to be sure, laddy (wink).
First they come for the baby roasters, then our babies(our guns).
ReplyDeleteSears is the bomb! I was lucky enough to serve on a Death Panel where afterwards we enjoyed a delicious BBQ Baby Back Ribs dinner that had been slow roasted to perfection (along with Creamed Children of the Corn). I just wish they'd cut the heads off before putting them on the table: the little tyke just stared ahead like some ghoul. Shudder!
ReplyDeleteNote: don't try to swallow kiddie gristle. It will choke you something fierce.
++++
It's all Obama's fault! You called it long ago. He's Gozer the Gozerian, come down to eat our babies. At least Obaba's got enough culture that he's not going to devour them as babysushi.
ReplyDeleteGeneral, Sir:
ReplyDeleteEverybody knows that roasting babies is simply not done. They are far too delicate for that sort of treatment. Poaching or braising is much better.
It is written in Deuteronomy 28:53 (New International Version)
ReplyDelete"...you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the LORD your God has given you."
So why should the wasteful government roast babies when citizens and small businesses can do it much more efficiently and less expensively?
dude,
ReplyDeleteI had to look up the Deuteronomy reference. That Old Testement God is one sick puppy.
Good thing he is a lesser god when it comes to who is really running the Universe.
Is that what happened to Roebuck?
ReplyDeleteJCrickey, a fun game to play is flipping open God's One and Only Holy Bible to a random page and reading until you get to a section that dwells upon something that's either murderously criminal, sexually perverse or delusionally insane. Usually doesn't take more than a printed page, especially if you've landed in the Hebrew part of the Testaments...
ReplyDeleteIsn't somebody going to bring up Jonathan Swift? Am I the only one around here with a useless degree in English?
ReplyDeleteButtermilk Sky: we have endeavored to avoid referencing the ingestion of Irish children for a couple of very good reasons. #1: Last year's Mason Jars picnic was a disaster, and if you think puking up Gaelic chum is entertaining, well, you have another thing coming, your degree in the occupier's language notwithstanding. #2: Eating Irish children is so 18th century, which if we'd thought about that fact at the company picnic we could have avoided our collective gastric nightmare. 'Tis a sore spot to be sure, laddy (wink).
ReplyDelete++++
Plus, sadly, the noble conservative blogger Jon Swift seems to have irretrievably retired. For those of you who didn't read him, Swifty was a brother in spirit to Teh Gen'l.
ReplyDelete