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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

"It's better than any pot smokin' you ever done"

Janet Meeks
Breckinridge County (KY) Public School District

Scott Mooney
Math Teacher/Football Coach
Breckinridge County High School

Dear Superintendent Meeks and Coach Mooney,

Baptism is holy sacrament. It's a sacred rite we should share with all the unJesused children we steward, even if we must do as you did and baptize them in the blood of the Lamb, surreptitiously, and against their parents wishes.

But then that's what the mission of public schools should be, isn't it. What good is it to teach our children about Noah's hatred of dinosaurs if we fail to bring them to Jesus through baptism by immersion. What good comes to a child who learns Obama in a Muslim communist but ends up serving as Satan's charcoal in Hell, anyway?

But is baptism enough? Shouldn't these children also be given the opportunity to obtain salvation through the handling of poisonous serpents? Why should they be denied a sacred experience that one pastor says is "better than any pot smokin' you ever done, or any beer drinkin', or any liquor?" Now, isn't that the kind of activity you should be providing to students?

There are at least two snake handling congregations not far from you in London and Middlesborough. I say put your students on buses and give them the gift of Mark 16:18. Let them "take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them."

Or are you too afraid of the secularists to offer your students, salvation?

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and not-handling-my -serpent kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to @CityCountryMe.


  1. If you really have faith why would you have to prove it? Faith and proof are different things, yes? I am so utterly confuckingfused.

    I guess it beats cable TV, but still...


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  3. "better than any pot smokin' you ever done,"

    He hasn't been to someathem places I been to in Amsterdam...

  4. "Sometimes 16-year-olds look like 18 years. We did the best we could."

    Good thing they weren't selling cigarettes, eh?

  5. Looks like they picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.

  6. "Sometimes 16-year-olds look like 18 years." --Rev Ron Davis, Franklin Crossroads Baptist Church, when questioned about baptizing minors without their parents' knowledge or consent.

  7. "Sometimes 16-year-olds look like 18 years." --Rev Ron Davis. Yeah that excuse will get you 10-20 in the pen where I come from.

  8. .
    It is not halal, this handling of the snakes at meal times. Keep your hand off your snake at the table, the Prophet has cautioned us.

    Any good Muslim American would know that. Especially the famous ones.

  9. General, Sir:

    Are them preacher fellers handlin' only their own snakes and are any of them spittin' cobras?

  10. Coach Mooney will wish to avoid one Herod Antipos who, all will remember, executed John the Baptist whose teaching on the coming of the kingdom he appears to have seen as insurrectionary. Is the good coach a teabagger, by any chance?


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.