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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The War on Halloween will not be won by a round of todger honking

Raymond E. Drake
President
The American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property

Dear President Drake,

I thoroughly enjoyed your Crusade Magazine interview with Mission America's Linda Harvey. The threat Harry Potter poses to the world's children can't be overstated. The same goes for Halloween. I thought Mrs. Harvey did an incredible job of explaining why the pagan-based holidays of Christmas and Easter are acceptable and that orgy of satanic wickedness we call "Halloween" is not:
People say, “Well, Christmas was a pagan influence originally.” But the difference is that God is in charge of everything, and I believe the original pagan underpinnings of Christmas and Easter have been co-opted by Christianity. But the Lord has left Halloween alone to test us. For some reason God is allowing the work of Satan in the world today, and the devil has co-opted Halloween. On top of that it is becoming an emphasized holiday. It is right behind Christmas as far as decoration, spending, costumes and all the paraphernalia involved. You see houses decorated for Halloween just like a house would be decorated for Christmas, and it makes me shudder because there is nothing holy, honorable or positive about this date. October 31 is the pagans’ highest holiday and we are helping them celebrate it. What a slap in the face to our wonderful God!
I tried co-opting Halloween for Jesus last year. I dressed up like you do when you're protesting the Gay--you know, with the red cape, sash and cute little golden brooch. But it was weird. Big, hairy men kept making me honk their todgers. You might want to rethink those outfits.

It may be a better idea to just have the Holy Virgin stop Halloween the same way She stopped that performance of Jerry Springer: The Opera in Cincinnati. You remember that. She ended the show by causing a storm and power outage.

God, how She hates Springer.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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