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Monday, October 05, 2009

After Experiencing Genital Breeze, Tea Party Leader Pledges War Against "Zebra" Obama

Lynn Dartez
Chair, New Iberia Tea Party

Dear Mr. Dartez,

It's a terrible shame so many patriots soften their language when they write about Barack Obama. Too often, they coddle him by addressing him as "Hussein," "BO," or "America's Hitler" when they could be using a stronger racially-based slur like you do here (scroll down):
Our country is suffering greatly since the Zebra and his cronies have stolen America.
Of course, it may be that you're just angrier because of the horrible sin that is being committed against you now:
I will not go down without a fight. I can feel a genital breeze blowing now.
Lord, I hate being blown with a genital breeze. It cools the crotchal area, driving one's little soldier to hunker down in the warmth of his hairy spidey hole, and thus invoking even more laughter and ridicule from our wives than normal.

I suspect you're right about the Obamunists generating this wicked wind, and I understand your zeal to destroy them:
Be warned Zebra Be Warned. We are coming when you least expect it and God is leading the charge as we march to his voice.

My sword stands ready and I stand tall just awaiting the call. For many have gone before us and died keeping our country safe. We will not give up to you Zebra. I will be there that day you are taking out and dealt with all of your cronies beside you.

Here my words Zebra for God is on our side. Jesus is the light upon our feet. Onward to Victory I shall march. God’s Victory is sound for I know my destiny when I die. I fear not death, but God’s wrath up you I do see Zebra.

For All Our great America Christian Patriots shall soon see the evil purged from our land. The Lake of fire that you will receive as Judgment for your crimes for eternity. Your father the devil will be on your side burning with you Zebra.

So all I have to say now is prance around the stage while you can. For soon your world will crumble down around you.
Until then, I suggest we put our private johnsons in thermoses.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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9 comments:

  1. That genital breeze couldn't have been too chilly, because he said his sword was ready and he's standing tall. Not bad for a man named "Lynn" whose e-mail handle is "roach."

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  2. You know...the numerical value for Zebra is 666...Just sayin'.

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  3. If you are getting a genital breeze, someone is doing it incorrectly....it's not literally a "blow".....

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  4. The last time mr cricket made reference to a genital breeze, a nasty stink followed.

    Look ladies, if the code 'genital breeze' is used, GET YOUR HEAD OUT FROM UNDER THE BLANKET.


    This has been a public service announcement. You can thank me when the time is appropriate.

    :)

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  5. A genital breeze is rather quite heinous
    A deceptive little wind that comes from the anus
    It curves ride up from the cheeks to the balls
    It's the wind that blows when nature calls

    ++++

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  6. I do love the whole - stand ready to answer the call - bit, as if someone is going to actually call. It's an ingenious way to pose as a warrior without getting your hair mussed.

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  7. How can they take what Jesus said and get that out of it?

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  8. " How can they take what Jesus said and get that out of it?"

    Simple. They're re-writing the Bible. I'm sure we won't recognize Jesus' words when they're done.

    http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project

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  9. Its all true. One of the 4 1/2 signs of the coming of the Great Zebra. "...And lo! the fourth and a half sign is when, upon their cheek, the Godly feel the slap of the Cockwind and the Ass Lick Minds will perish."

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.