I have a moral objection to paying for any kind of erectile dysfunction medicine in the new health reform bill and I think men who want to use it should just pay for it out of pocket. After all, I won't ever need such a pill. And anyway, it's no biggie. Just because most of them can get it under their insurance today doesn't mean they shouldn't have it stripped from their coverage in the future because of my moral objections. (I don't think there's even been a Supreme Court ruling making wood a constitutional right. I might be wrong about that.)
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In the immortal words of Moe Berg, Toronto’s biggest Blackhawks fan:
ReplyDeleteSometimes my head hurts and sometimes my stomach hurts
And I guess it won’t be long
’Til I’m sitting in a room with a bunch
Of people whose necks and backs are aching
Whose sight and hearing’s failing
Who just can’t seem to get it up …
My boner got a deferment
ReplyDeleteBack in '68
It wouldn't go up river
To meet its dark, wet fate
Instead we went to college
Where my boner could run free
So happy was my boner
It went down in history
(chorus)
'O take me home
To ole vaginny
Take me home
And comfort me
Take me home
To ole vaginny
If I stop for penis fencing
Ignore the implications
I only wave it to be free
++++
They can have my boner when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
ReplyDeleteDan: Ouch.
ReplyDeleteI mean, quite literally, ouch. Also.
I'm pretty sure there is something in one of dem constitutions that sez men have a god given right to their boners. Why without 'em, how we supposed to rape and pillage?
ReplyDeleteGeneral, Sir:
ReplyDeleteWhen boner pills are outlawed, only outlaws will have boner pills.
General, sir, it was written quite plainly in the Preamble to our great Constitution: "We hold these stiffys self-evidently, that with them we might hump our way to happiness..."
ReplyDeleteI submit it to you gentlemen thusly: it is essentially un-American not to have an erection, which is why the Fathers of this Godly Nation knew that they could not offer citizenship to the female sex, for, alas, she can never attain our full three inches of manhood, for she lacks a tiny soldier. Amen.
Oabus:
ReplyDelete"for, alas, she can never attain our full three inches of manhood,"
Umm, are there instructions on how to do that "three inches" thing?
After all, I won't ever need such a pill. And anyway, it's no biggie
ReplyDeleteThe slip-up of a masquerading not-man...
What, nobody around here ever hearda the Pursuit of Happiness (or “TPOH” as the hip kids say)? Did you people sleepwalk through the ’90s or what?
ReplyDeleteIt’s okay. I know the ’90s totally sucked, music-wise, for the most part. But they’re Canadian, TPOH, so the ’90s for them was like the ’70s for us. Anyways, “I’m an Adult Now” is pretty much, like, the anthem of that decade. “I can sleep in till noon any time I want/Though there’s not many days that I do.”
... that Dave... allus looking for trouble...
ReplyDeleteI think if you mention 'TPOH' you should instinctively add 'WG' for 'with guns'. Like that, you'll have the complete shorthand for the land of grab and defend.
.. uh, wait a minute... you were talking about music...
ReplyDeleteYes, Joe, I see your point. But since Moe Berg’s outfit’s from Toronto (pronounced, as I understand it, “T’ronto” … or is it “T’ronno”?), I don’t think the band’d do the “with guns” part. Just the pursuing and the happiness.
ReplyDeleteThe guns keep sneaking in under the wire, despite all the security talk about the border.
ReplyDeleteBut we'll get these 'freedom loving' perverts and we'll crush'em under our commie-pinko jackboots. Just wait and see. That'll learn em...
Are you sure, Mr. Joe Visionaryfascist that those are not CommieJacko Pinkboots?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAccess to wood is a Jeffersonian concept currently out of favor by the Supremes.
ReplyDelete"from my cold dead hands."
ReplyDeleteSweet manly aggresive Christ, I'm still laughing.
why did you remove my posting sir....? i am talking to administrator
ReplyDelete