Harmer for Congress
Dear Mr. Harmer,
As a fellow "free American Mormon," I'm glad to hear you're running for Congress. I find the reasoning behind your decision incredibly inspiring: "Mormon candidates," you declare, "have an understanding that is unique because members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints know we are all children of God." That has to be the best campaign justification I've ever heard. It gives me curelom bumps.I also like how you're identifying yourself with Captain Moroni. He's the perfect Book of Mormon character for a teabagger candidate like yourself. I mean, oh my heck, just look at his official BOM picture. He stands there so manly and buff, a block of taut sinewy muscle framed by forearms that'd put a pair of hams to shame, a legion of young, tanned, stripling warriors eagerly peering up into his kilt at his Great Globes and Staff of Righteous Victory. One can almost hear them joyously singing To Nephi, Seer of Olden Time:
Hold to the rod, the iron rod;You should put that picture on all your campaign literature, It'd scare the heck out of the opposition. Imagine how the gays would tremble when confronted with a picture like that!
'Tis strong, and bright, and true.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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