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Dear Mr. Pitts,
Although your "Agape Bracelet" is a great idea--who wouldn't want a bracelet that vibrates when someone is praying for them--it's focused too narrowly on a single market: convangelicals. You should consider expanding your line to target other faith groups as well.I'd start with the Mormon youth market by introducing a scaled down version of the bracelet. You could call it the "Agape Thingy Ring" and market it as a chastity-ensurer for those who engage in the non-sexual act of "floating."
Being a gentile (non-Mormon), you may be unaware of this practice. Here's how one observer of LDS culture describes it (I've cleaned up the language a bit):
What you do is (I'll try to be as medically accurate as possible) is insert your [little soldier] in your girlfriend's [woo woo] and try to hold as still as possible. The lack of movement means you are not having sex. You just sit there, I assume naked, and don't move.You know it must be difficult to remain motionless with your unit in there. That's why I think there'll be a demand for the Agape Thingy Ring. Think about it. You just slip it onto your Great and Powerful Staff of God-Fearing Chastity before driving it deep into a not-man's Slippery Cave of Virginal Steadfastness and you're set. The ring will vibrate with the power of prayer, reminding you to remain still and, by doing so, help you deny your essence to the temptress.
I wish I'd had something like that in my Mormon youth. We didn't have floating then, but a thingy ring would have saved me a lot of grief when dry humping turned ugly.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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