Host, American Family Assn's "Focal Point"
Executive Director, Idaho Values Alliance
Dear Brother Fischer,
It looks like your suggestion that homosexualists be prosecuted caught the Southern Poverty Law Center's attention. They're basically calling you an idiot for compairing same-sex lovers to intravenous drug users. They note that while drug abuse is illegal, the courts have ruled laws against homsexualism to be unconstitutional. The SPLC also destroys your health threat argument by pointing out that "there has never been a confirmed case of female-to-female HIV transmission in the United States."
Now, I know what your thinking: "Not-men can't be homosexualists. They don't have 'little soldiers'." I thought that too until a femislamunistofascist snuck into one of our Spartan wrestling nights and violated me with a strap-on ReamMaster 5000 (just like the one Bill O'Reilly uses.) It almost ruined Spartan-style wrestling for me. You don't expect to feel all that buzzing vibration at the moment of submission. Not only did it scare the living hell out of me, it caused me to briefly question my relationship with the Almighty. I thought God had given the younger guys a gift he'd denied our generation. That pissed me off.
Thank the Lord someone exposed my opponent after noticing her breasts were hairless and her belly was flat. Although the missing hair was explainable--we often wax before a match to allow the oil to provide us with a good even shine--the absense of a big beer belly betrayed the hormonal basis for the boobs.
I felt a lot better about God after figuring that out, but, I do miss those good vibrations. It made me feel all tingly in a purely heterosexual and warriorly kind of way.
Anyway, you have to figure out how to turn not-men homosexualists into a health threat if you're going to pull this off. Otherwise, you just look stupid.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Previously: Bryan rebukes the todger waggers.
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