Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender
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Thursday, September 16, 2010
My Ad for O'Donnell
Posted by
Anonymous
Does anyone have an email address for her campaign? I really want to submit this ad and help her in any way I can.
General, good to touch base with you. I have not been well. Had the gout, and rickets, a dose of the clap and lung cancer. You may have notice i haven't been around in awhile.
But i saw in the news today that the Director of Homeland Security issued a security alert about your "Burn a Confererate Flag Day" campaign. It's right in here in the middle of the story:
Sir, I have noticed that more commenters are using the salutation, "General, Sir" (actually, it is usually a variant thereof) and I just want to say that in order to make my own suckup salutation stand out more better I may have to go to using, "Sir, General, Sir--My beloved General, Sir!" with the ejaculation at the end. I really don't want to go there, Sir, 'cuz I just read that, especially after pooberty that the average man can only ejaculate one every couple of hours--I post lots more comments than than some days.
I like this version (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT8NcDVxs_0&feature=related)
more better.
I wonder if this might have been a spoof on Teddy DeTeabagger Nonuggets' simulated sex during some of his shows. Since he's a Man'sman'sman'stoy (translation: Fucked in the library, by the butler, with a strap-on) he probably doesn't get major wood unless there's a page, an altar boy and a ballgag handy.
The Tubes may be from San Francisco, but Mr. Fee Waybill is a 'Husker, having been born about a year after me in Omaha. Perhaps if he had not been born I would be the lead singer for the Tubes or at least the Internetztubez. I was at choir rehearsal one night (some years back when I was doing church) and one of the nice choir ladies said we should be doing some more "contemporary music". I suggested, "Don't Touch Me There!". There were several blank looks, but three of the other ladies immediately started, "The smell of burning leather...".
Marlon Brando lived about a mile from my house as a child. Henry Fonda lived on the other side of the block from my house.
Demo – My high school produced Ernest Hemmingway, Ray Kroc and Ludacris. Oh, yeah … and Betty White and Kathy Griffin, too. Of course, of those the only one I knew was Kathy Griffin, but still.
ONE OF THE MOST INTRIGUING SPIRITUAL, SOCIAL, AND CULTURAL PHENOMENA OF OUR TIME IS THE CURRENT REVIVAL IN NEW YORK RESULTING FROM AMERICAPHILE MINISTRIES' MISSION TO THAT CITY!!!!!
NOW WE SEE THAT THE SOUL-WINNING, MOUNTAIN-MOVING, DEVIL-KICKING, PIAPS-DEFEATING, AMERICA-STRENGTHENING, HURRICANE-THWARTING, MOSQUE-CLOSING, KORAN-BURNING, RAPTURE-READY REVIVAL HAS SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE STATE AND BEYOND, EVEN TO DELAWARE!!!!
AS THE PRO-AMERICAN CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK, CARL PALADINO WILL RESTORE HONOR, INTEGRITY AND DIGNITY TO THAT SIN-SICK LIBTARDED STATE!!!!!
WITH THE GOOD O’DONNELL, CHRISTINE, IN THE UNITED STATES SENATE FROM DELAWARE, WE WILL SEE A MORAL AWAKING THROUGHOUT THE LAND!!!!!
HEY YOU DOUNGHNUT-BUMPING DYKES!!!!! TRY TO TAKE AWAY OUR GUNS?!?!?! WELL, NOW WE’RE GOING TO CONFISCATE YOUR VIBRATORS!!!!!!
Official Campaign Song? The Tubes, “Don’t Touch Me There”
ReplyDeleteYou’re welcome, America.
Apparently, Oditzell's had sex -- filthy, oozing SEX -- before. But at least she disliked it so much that she re-virginized.
ReplyDeleteVonEb -- good onya for a Tubes link, you WPOD!
Is it Palm Sunday already?
ReplyDelete++++
We're talking Breitfart here -- call it Palm Scumday.
ReplyDeleteGeneral, good to touch base with you. I have not been well. Had the gout, and rickets, a dose of the clap and lung cancer. You may have notice i haven't been around in awhile.
ReplyDeleteBut i saw in the news today that the Director of Homeland Security issued a security alert about your "Burn a Confererate Flag Day" campaign. It's right in here in the middle of the story:
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/09/appalled-pa-gov-shuts-reports-protests/
I believe Governor Rendell himself owes you an apology, as does that lame director. I certainly hope you write to them and assert your manhood.
Your humble servant,
Lt. worem
General Sir!
ReplyDeleteHere is some contact info for Christine
O'Donnell:
http://votesmart.org/bio.php?can_id=65777
you might have to mail it to her house:
http://www.ourcampaigns.com/CandidateDetail.html?CandidateID=122923
General, Sir:
ReplyDeleteI think a good campaign slogan might be:
"I need a 'hand up' not a 'hand job'!".
Sir, I have noticed that more commenters are using the salutation, "General, Sir" (actually, it is usually a variant thereof) and I just want to say that in order to make my own suckup salutation stand out more better I may have to go to using, "Sir, General, Sir--My beloved General, Sir!" with the ejaculation at the end. I really don't want to go there, Sir, 'cuz I just read that, especially after pooberty that the average man can only ejaculate one every couple of hours--I post lots more comments than than some days.
Goddamn it, typos! That's what I get for typing with one hand!
ReplyDeleteSchwing!
ReplyDeleteThis song is by someone named Christina, not Christine, and it is NOT O'Diddle's campaign theme.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the sound of one hand spanking the monkey?
ReplyDeleteWaxing the dolphin?
Bopping the bishop?
Pounding the politician?
Palpating the palpatine?
Fondling the fundie?
Should it be accompanied, musically--perhaps by a recording of Martin Mull's "Men"?
Bukko: Love. That. Song. Everything that was great/awful about the ’70s.
ReplyDeleteI like this version (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT8NcDVxs_0&feature=related)
ReplyDeletemore better.
I wonder if this might have been a spoof on Teddy DeTeabagger Nonuggets' simulated sex during some of his shows. Since he's a Man'sman'sman'stoy (translation: Fucked in the library, by the butler, with a strap-on) he probably doesn't get major wood unless there's a page, an altar boy and a ballgag handy.
Why, Demo, I don’t think Christine O’Donnell would approve!
ReplyDeleteOf course, The Tubes were from San Francisco. Which makes them teh eeeevil. And teh ghey. Teh gheeeeeevil...
ReplyDeleteDear Bukko Canukko:
ReplyDeleteThe Tubes may be from San Francisco, but Mr. Fee Waybill is a 'Husker, having been born about a year after me in Omaha. Perhaps if he had not been born I would be the lead singer for the Tubes or at least the Internetztubez. I was at choir rehearsal one night (some years back when I was doing church) and one of the nice choir ladies said we should be doing some more "contemporary music". I suggested, "Don't Touch Me There!". There were several blank looks, but three of the other ladies immediately started, "The smell of burning leather...".
Marlon Brando lived about a mile from my house as a child. Henry Fonda lived on the other side of the block from my house.
Demo – My high school produced Ernest Hemmingway, Ray Kroc and Ludacris. Oh, yeah … and Betty White and Kathy Griffin, too. Of course, of those the only one I knew was Kathy Griffin, but still.
ReplyDeleteDave von Ebers:
ReplyDeleteShame on you, for being a better name dropper!
Demo: Indeed. My bad.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteONE OF THE MOST INTRIGUING SPIRITUAL, SOCIAL, AND CULTURAL PHENOMENA OF OUR TIME IS THE CURRENT REVIVAL IN NEW YORK RESULTING FROM AMERICAPHILE MINISTRIES' MISSION TO THAT CITY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNOW WE SEE THAT THE SOUL-WINNING, MOUNTAIN-MOVING, DEVIL-KICKING, PIAPS-DEFEATING, AMERICA-STRENGTHENING, HURRICANE-THWARTING, MOSQUE-CLOSING, KORAN-BURNING, RAPTURE-READY REVIVAL HAS SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE STATE AND BEYOND, EVEN TO DELAWARE!!!!
AS THE PRO-AMERICAN CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK, CARL PALADINO WILL RESTORE HONOR, INTEGRITY AND DIGNITY TO THAT SIN-SICK LIBTARDED STATE!!!!!
WITH THE GOOD O’DONNELL, CHRISTINE, IN THE UNITED STATES SENATE FROM DELAWARE, WE WILL SEE A MORAL AWAKING THROUGHOUT THE LAND!!!!!
HEY YOU DOUNGHNUT-BUMPING DYKES!!!!! TRY TO TAKE AWAY OUR GUNS?!?!?! WELL, NOW WE’RE GOING TO CONFISCATE YOUR VIBRATORS!!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
HEY PIAPS!!!! NO MORE 16-INCH STRAP-ONS FOR YOU!!!!!!
WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!
WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!
WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!
R O T F L M A O ! ! ! ! !