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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Amazon Review: Decision Points by George W Bush

My Amazon review of George W. Bush's "Decision Points" is up. Please consider helping me make this review "the most helpful favorable review" by casting a vote for it.
4.0 out of 5 stars If Horatio Alger Had a Trust Fund, November 9, 2010
By Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Decision Points (Hardcover)

The presidential memoir serves an important function in our society. It provides a former president with an opportunity to shape how we will be viewed by history.

They aren't easy books to write. Facts create roadblocks that the ex-president must overcome. Most attempt to do so by twisting and tearing at the facts until an acceptable truth emerges. My president, Our Glorious Leader George W. Bush, boldly took another approach. He tortured the facts until they confessed to their treachery. Then, He summarily executed them with a Hellfire-C missile launched from a Predator drone.

And the results are breathtaking. I stood up and cheered when I read His claim that waterboarding isn't torture because He paid His lawyers to say it isn't. That's chutzpah, my friends. It's a zen kind of chutzpah, one that is only achieved when self delusion and a supreme lack of self-awareness come into perfect balance.

I was also very moved by His recounting of His childhood encounter with the Bush family fetus jar. It was very vividly written. I can almost see Barbara Bush standing there in her blue gown, arms outstretched as she presents the fetus jar to young W. "Hold him, W," she screeches, her pearls rattling angrily, "kiss your little dead fetus brother; kiss him now, you little mistake!"

Now that's parenthood. It's no wonder He became what He is today.

It does not matter if the story is true or not. No one cares that it's more likely that Barbara caught young George drinking from the family fetus jar. The story works either way, because it's about respect for life or the alcohol that preserves the traces of it. And that's the key to understanding President Bush. He respects life so much, He eagerly takes it from those he deems undeserving.

But this book isn't perfect. Glorious Leader Bush's experiments with firecrackers and frogs--experiments that shaped His thoughts on justice--goes unreported. Same goes for his triumph over alcoholism and his later studies on the beneficial health effects derived by drinking huge quantities of Vicks NyQuil Multi-Symptom Cold/Flu Relief- Original Flavor. None of that appears in this memoir. That's why I can't give "Decision Points" five stars.


  1. Asshole spammer, above.

  2. I saw Asshole Spammer when they opened for Hole. Or maybe I dreamed it.

    p.s. Awesome review, General! I love that Bush paid a man to tell him exactly what he wanted to hear. It's just like sex with a whore only you don't cry.

  3. Great review - in fact, I am certain there was more truth in this review than there was in the book - and the review was better written! For a more intelligent read, may I suggest "Pitchforks and Torches" by Keith Olbermann, "C Street" by Jeff Sharlet, or "American Taliban" by Markos Moulitsas.

  4. Anonymous6:44 AM

    Looks like they sent you an advance reading copy with the rejected unretouched cover.

  5. I wish MY mom had brought home a dead fetus and waved it in front of my face, like Barbara Bush and Rick Santorumanondog did. Because exposing children to the soggy half-developed corpse of their potential brother or sister is the bestest way to become a good Republikkkan.

  6. sir, general, sir!
    haloscan's evil replacement has been overcome!
    mein general, i can talk!!

  7. General, I wrote this for you. I know you have been busy and must have overlooked the call to war with the great beasts of Yellowstone, the Grizzly Bear.

  8. JC Christian-

    I went through the entire blog, and, damn, you're funny!

    I would appreciate it if you read my blog, The blog is a virtual compendium of articles from newspapers, newsweeklies, and magazines, both popular and scholarly. The articles have a viewpoint toward transgender / transsexual news. If you like it, please put
    "Emily's virtual rocket "under the title commonly called
    "Blogroll". Thank you so much!



  9. Hey, perhaps it's (he's) better than Spam!

  10. Jeneral, Sir! WOW, you have upped the bar for book reviews! I told Amazon how helpful and useful to the conversation your opinions are. But what about You should post a review there too! Sir.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.