Press Secretary
Georgia Gun Owners
Dear Mrs. Rodriquez,
Thank you so much for sending me the video of the pastor who wants us to pack heat in the pews. While it's refreshing to hear a man of God speaking out for our right to bag a perp while worshipping our Lord, I find Pastor Brown's combover to be very unsettling.
You can't trust a man who combs over his bald spot like that. It's just plain dishonest. Worse yet, it's a very insulting kind of dishonesty. It's as if he believes we'll fall for such a sloppy example of scalp camo.
Now, I understand why he doesn't just shave it all off. He'd look too much like a perp if he did, and, eventually, a true Second-Amendment-loving patriot would have to gun him down and mount him--probably in church (the gunning I mean, not the mounting--the shooter would probably do that down in his basement).
That doesn't excuse Pastor Brown from trying other options like that spray-on hair that comes in a can. It's great stuff. I use it myself down on my south forty (if you know what I mean). I find it calms the livestock.
But as I said at the beginning, I'm glad you sent me the video. It prompted me to check out your website, and I'm very pleased with what I found. I'm particularly fond of your list of the six points that define a "REAL right to carry:"
- No government licenses.
- No government background checks.
- No fees paid to the government for in order to carry.
- No government fingerprinting.
- No trips to probate court.
- No waiting periods.
Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblical, and shoot-a-perp-in-church kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
