Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "gen.jc.christian@gmail.com.")
Thanks!

Monday, January 24, 2011

They laughed and called him "Grandpa Caligula," but they're not laughing now!

On October 25, 1983, just two days after the Beirut Bombing in which 241 Marines lost their lives, the United States invaded the communist stronghold of Grenada. Victory was swift. Our military quickly defeated the crack crew of Cuban construction workers Castro had stationed there.

The greatest of all Americans, Ronald Wilson Reagan, had saved America once again. As one would expect, his triumph angered pointy-headed historislamunistofascists and their fellow travelers. They produced their own histories, traitorous histories that denied the beauty, the genius, and the glory of this divinely-inspired and perfectly executed operation.

Indeed, historislamunistofascists spread such blood libels as:
  • In an effort to curb public anger against the Gipper after the Beirut Bombing, the administration rushed to begin the invasion before planning was complete. Preparation was so incomplete, they argue, soldiers were issued tourist maps of the island because military maps were unavailable. Communications were so bad, some commanders had to use calling cards at payphones to speak to their superiors in the States.
  • Bad planning resulted in casualties. Of the nineteen soldiers and sailors who were killed in the invasion, four Navy SEALs drowned when they were dropped from helicopters too far off shore to reach the beach. Many of the others were killed after stumbling onto enemy positions that were not marked on their tourist maps.
  • The tiny island of Grenada was not a threat to the United States.
  • The students at the trickle-down-style medical school were in no danger until after the invasion began.
Thankfully, the best comunicators Madison Avenue has to offer are now rewriting those old Grenada Invasion histories. The results of their efforts is spoon-fed to children via a simulation at the Reagan Presidential Library every day. The radio show, This American Life, recorded one of those sessions recently. Here are a few quotes from that broadcast:

Docent:
We have Cuba, we have Grenada, and we also have Nicaragua at the time,that are all communist and they're kind of close to the United States. So it could be that it causes a problem for the United States if they wanted to come to us and wanted to maybe make us a communists, right.
Docent after telling children that the media reported on the invasion before it began:
They [the media] can't have any consequences for what they did; however, just because they have the freedoms, do all of you think they they should have used that freedom?
Docent:
I'm here to inform you that we lost nineteen soldiers in the fighting. Now, we can't directly say that's because of the press, but did it help that they released the story? No, it certainly didn't help.
Docent:
Now, it is time for me to take you into the press room for a press conference. That means you're going to see the press [classmates who play reporters in the simulation]. I ask you to be polite, but point out to them that maybe their actions had some consequences.
Exchanges between kids who played administration figures and those who played the media:
[Media kid:] "We have freedom of speech. Right? Right?

[Admin kid:] "You killed people! You killed nineteen soldiers. How would you like to be killed?"
During the simulation, a child playing Our Holy Gipper went off script and ordered the military to rescue the medical students but not invade. An actor rebuked him via video, saying:
The U.S. government will only overthrow the government of another nation if it believes that nation poses a direct, specific threat to America's safety. In 1983, President Reagan decided that Grenada presented such a threat and ordered a full-scale military operation to replace Grenada's hostile communist government with a friendly democracy.
Here is the complete show:


5 comments:

  1. At the time, many people of the DFH thought-set believed the Invasion of Granada was like a Special Olympics for the US Military after the debacle of Vietnam.

    ReplyDelete
  2. They forgot to tell the kids the action was illegal and a crime. Oh, and they forgot to tell the kids that the US's best friend, the UK, were close friends with Grenada. Oh, and they forgot to tell the kids that 90,000 people vs the US isn't a credible threat.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How well I remember the glorious subjugation of the communistobeachifascist terrorisland of Hand Grenada!

    As an American, (this was prior to my present political exile) my pride was still stinging from the humiliating surrender of our Asian Rice Colony by President "Malaisey" Carter, and the pathetic way he gave back our Isthmusic Canal Colony to the people who lived in that land (which we had stolen fair and square from the Swarth American Colombiafascists who lived there.)

    Why, even a GIRL was kicking our asses! (Genitally speaking, at least, Margaret Thatcher was a female.) She had whupped up on those renegade Argy-Bargys, whereas the manly nation of America hadn't conquered another country since the Dominican Republic in 1965.

    But St. Ronnie made it OK for America to send the Marines, even if He didn't know quite where to send them, or where Grandmada was on a map. It wasn't His fault that His brain didn't function so well after that kid from the Bush family friend-circle tried to off Him. National Grandpa Reagan had secretPresident Bush running things from behind the scenes, so it was OK.

    Thanks to the Grenadier assault, it's been A-OK to send in the A-10s and add some scalps to America's conquest wall. Stomping the commiecrap out of that dangerous island kicked off a domino effect that has led to the glorious successes America has had in the Himalayan Heroin Colony and the Babylon Oil Colony.

    I don't know which nation will receive the Bombs of Freedom next -- maybe the Persians, maybe the Meskins, maybe just parts of the Lower 48 States that choose to disobey the dictates of a future lawfully-selected Maximum Leader. My choice would be this suspiciously socialist land of Canada, which should have been assimilated in the War of 1812. They've got oil sands up here, and they'd better hand 'em over politely, or the USA! USA! USA! might have to liberate them.

    But wherever the red light of the laser gunsight falls, we can thank The Conquering Lion Of Gypper. Why hasn't He been cannonized yet? Somebody better send an ultimatum to Pape Nazinger in the Vatican, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't ya know, any boy can be president...

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eeYt1gOHtiQ/TTe40_WP0tI/AAAAAAAAAhI/tGK4WaOt7Tg/s1600/v34+Annie+get+ure+gun.jpg

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.