Mrs. Pastor Steven L. (Zsuzsanna) Anderson
Quiver Provisioner
Pastors Wife, Faithful Word Baptist Church
Dear Mrs Pastor Anderson,
Congratulations on the new addition to the family. I bet you can't wait until little Anna learns her first words so she can start complaining about the "faggots" with her brothers.
You're obviously a great parent, but something you wrote in your last post has me a little concerned. You said that you were proud that your kids didn't puke after attending church. You seemed sure that they would--you gave them each a bowl to throw up in when you tucked them into bed--but they didn't, and that made you happy.
That's just wrong. I've seen Pastor Anderson's sermons on YouTube and they make me puke like Hell. It's the power of the Holy Spirit that does it. You hear good preachin' and the spirit fills you until you start puking like the apostles after a big water-into-wine party. It's either that or talking in tongues.
Sometimes it's both--the Holy Spirit moves you to barf in tongues. Bile shoots out your nose and makes this whistling sound. I once heard an Independant Baptist preacher barf out the melody to Hava Nagila while he was filled with the Holy Spirit. Now, that was some barfing in tongues.
Heterosexually yours in a non-quiver-filling-wanting kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
