Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Friday, February 25, 2011

Savior Spotting

I started keeping tabs on Jesus awhile back to ensure we have an edge when the End Times begin. I figured that if I could identify the moment Jesus left for Jerusalem (or Jackson County, MO), we could short our stocks and make a great Christ-based killing.

Unfortunately, we'll have to wait a little longer for our windfall. He's hanging around in Orange County.

 

6 comments:

  1. That's not Jesus it's Rasputin. (Admittedly, it's difficult to tell without seeing his member.)

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  2. Only the true Jesus would have his face in a wood paling that sniffs butts. We all know that a pleasant rectal aroma is a sure fire way to get into heaven, even if you're an evil bastard.

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  3. All's I can see is a knothole. I could never see what was supposed to be in those magic eye posters that were so big during the 1990s (and I'm still steamed about that.) I guess I'm just going to hell. Or maybe the optometrist's for a better pair of bifocals. Now that I think of it, that might hurt less.

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  4. Jesus was absolute hell to be an agent for--sending him to auditions started off okay, but instead of bringing 8x10s he'd hand off a chair or a Dorito to the casting agent. Embarrassing, really. Awkward and embarrassing.

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  5. General, Sir:

    I saw the pitcher and then I saw the light!

    Joe the Guywhoworksonplumingwithouthedon'tgotnolicense musta sat in that chair. That is "Buttcrack Jesus" or I ain't the finest mechanic in these pants.

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  6. Horsepucky. I know an image of Jimi Hendrix when I see one. Goddamned hippies.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.