Central Texas Safari Club
Safari Club International (SCI)
Dear Mrs Huntress,
Thank you for your email "Alert To Everyone Who Is Interested In Protecting the Outdoors." Yes, I want to save the outdoors by helping you fight the US Fish and Wildlife ban on shooting of scimitar-horned oryx, dama gazelle and addax in canned hunting corrals.
I'll never forget the time I bagged my scimitar-horned orx. It was the biggest thrill of my life to sit down next to it, feed it beer until it passed out, put my rifle up to its beautiful hide, and shoot that magnificent beast--then shoot it another five times until I finally hit a vital organ.
A man hasn't lived until he's unloaded a magazine into nature's fanciest goat. It brings you that momentary rush of manly, unfettered bloodlust we all crave so dearly. I thank the Lord for giving me that opportunity.
I bet that's how former Department of Interior official and SCI member David P. Smith felt when he shot Feeble Biff, the Elderly Bison, a few years back.
And no doubt war troubadour Troy Lee Gentry a felt the same when he poked his rifle through a slot in a cage and bagged Cubby the Performing Bear.
These are the kinds of experiences that canned hunting corrals provide for us. We can't give that up. That's why I'm joining your fight to keep them full of tamed, drugged, and safe oryx, gazelle, and addax.
Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically acceptable, and executing an intoxicated antelope kind of way.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
P.S. I see your email address ends in the the 88 so beloved by our most proudly Aryan brothers and sisters. Do you carry a Mauser Karabiner into the corral?