Joe McGinniss is a God Damned Liar

Our Lady of the Wolf Slaughter snorted cocaine, engaged in unconfederate acts of miscegenation, and rode Todd's business partner like a snowmachine on moguls. Those are the claims Joe McGuinniss is making in his soon-to-be released book, "The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin."

Of course it's all bullcrap (mostly). Sister Sarah's a hero of the Heartland. She wouldn't be snortin' no urban nose candy. She'd be firing up some good ol' American methamphetamine. I bet she was just playin' with the crank on that oil drum while Todd was using a pair of pliers to straighten out their needle.

And surrendering her virtue to an unheartlandlishly hued basketball player, who hasn't done that a few handful of times? Heck, I'm still walkin' funny from that night with Wilt Chamberlain back in '74. Yeah, it's a sin, but I mitigated it by demanding he call me "Wendy Sue." And besides, a person can't be blamed for succumbing to that basketball mojo, especially with players from the short shorts era. I mean, good Lord, I bet Jesus, himself, drove hard down the lane whenever he saw Curley Neal bend over.

As for Snow Machine Brad, there's no way Sarah lubed his slide rail. She couldn't; she's married for chrissakes.

You wait and see. It's going to come out that McGuinniss is a god damned journalist. They never have anything good to say about Sarah.