Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Cursing the Not-Mitts

Dr. Flo Ellers
EndTime Handmaidens and Servants of Jasper

Dear Dr. Ellers,

After watching each new Not-Mitt rise to the top of Republican presidential nomination pool only to be quickly crushed like a Breitbart expose, I've come to the conclusion that something very evil is afoot--something very much like what you wrote about in 2008:
...when Obama visited his tribe in ’06 and as late as Jan. ’08 he went to every elder’s home which has a “shrine” inside to worship the genie and asked for their blessing... Obama’s grandmother sacrificed a black and a white chicken to the “goddess of the river” so both whites and blacks will vote for Obama.

The occultists are “weaving lazy 8′s around McCain’s mind to make him look confused and like an idiot”.
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Acting "confused and like an idiot" is a description that could easily be applied to Bachmann, Perry, and Cain. Have Obama's occultists targeted them?

But then, again, they've all served as Not-Mitts. Perhaps Elder Romney is targeting them with the Mormon "dust shaking" curse found in D&C 24:15:
15 And in whatsoever place ye shall enter, and they receive you not in my name, ye shall leave a cursing instead of a blessing, by casting off the dust of your feet against them as a testimony, and cleansing your feet by the wayside.
It's a very powerful curse. Elder Samuel Smith once used it to smite a rude bartender and his family with small pox. And no doubt the Midwest's current economic crisis can be directly traced to Elders Hyrum Smith, Lyman Wight, John Corrill, and John Murdock, wiping their feet "as a testimony against that city [Detroit]."

We're running out of Not-Mitts. It's time to break out our Glory Rings and Elijah Mantles and go all out prayer commando on Mitt and the OBAMUNIST USURPER. Are you with me?

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and curse-breaking kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

No comments:

Post a Comment

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.