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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Barack "Erik Gruber" Obama: Self-Hating Amish Guy

Four years ago, I used the latest in faith-based scientific technology to prove that the OBAMUNIST USURPER is actually an Amish man named Erik Gruber. Now, the rest of the patriotsphere is beginning to their own investigations into the 's secret Amish heritage.

It all began with a tongue-in-cheek declaration by ABC News that Gruber/Obama is America's first Amish President. Newsbusters was the first patrioblog to respond, noting that Obama isn't a very pious Amishman, because he uses electricity:
...the Amish generally prohibit power-line electricity -- all the time, not just on the weekends. Can you imagine Michelle Obama churning butter in a frock and a bonnet?
Then, Glenn Beck's The Blaze weighed in, reminding readers that the OBAMUNIST USURPER commanded his henchmen at the Graves County District Court to bring the full coercive socialist power of the county to bear against Amish who refused to mount reflective triangles on the backs of their buggies.

And commenters at the Free Republic expressed doubt that "Michelle sews their [the Obama Family's] clothes."

What's next? Will we learn that the Obamas don't build their own furniture or that the daughters play with dolls that have faces?

More importantly, do the Amish elders have the guts to shun the President of the United States?

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.