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Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Good News for Born Again Christians: Jesus Makes Your Brain Atrophy

Little did I know that on the day I accepted Jesus into my heart after He helped me win a catfish noodling trophy, the Lord also gave me a second trophy: my brain. That's the conclusion of a new study from Duke University. After studying 268 men and women aged 58 and over, they found that being born again in the blood of Jesus results in brain atrophy:
Significantly greater hippocampal atrophy was observed for participants reporting a life-changing religious experience. Significantly greater hippocampal atrophy was also observed from baseline to final assessment among born-again Protestants...compared with Protestants not identifying as born-again.
I know that sounds all sciency and stuff, but it's good. Jesus makes our brain atropy, all gold and shiny and wow, I want to be born again again.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.