Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Just a few innocent mistakes

I hope we can all get past this whole Justice Department scandal now that Monica Goodling has admit ed she made a mistake and broke the law by vetting civil service applicants for ideological and theistic correctness. After all, everyone makes a mistake. Goodling and the Administration who worked for should be entitled to a few as well.

It's not like this administration is completely mistake-ridden. These are the only mistakes I could come up with after thinking about it for a whole 5 minutes.
  • Deputy Assistant Secretary of Interior Julie A. MacDonald sends a confidential endangered species document to a guy she met on an on-line role-playing game. Her unofficial online consultant, apparently lacking an email account of his own, asks her to send it to his father's email account.
  • Deputy Assistant Secretary for Fish, Wildlife and Parks David P. Smith tracks Biff the Elderly Buffalo to a corner of his pen and successfully bags his arthritic trophy by shooting him in the eye.
  • Al Hurra, the government owned and operated public relations television network broadcasts terrorist messages, including exhortations to commit violence against Jews, to the Middle East. The mistake is excused because none of the management speaks Arabic.
  • Upon taking Iraq, Donald Rumsfeld stations troops to defend the Oil Ministry against looters while leaving museums, arms depots, and nuclear facilities unguarded.
  • The Vice President's Chief of Staff makes a mistake when he lies to the FBI and a federal grand jury.
  • White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales and Chief of Staff Andrew Card attempt to strongarm a drugged, semi-coherent, hospitalized John Ashcroft into approving a state security apparatus operation against the people.
  • Jose Padilla is arrested for plotting to explode a dirty bomb. The charges are later changed and Padilla is accused of plotting to turn on the gas in a number of apartments and then light a match to them. Those charges were eventually dropped and currently, Padilla is charged with being a Chechen Resistance recruiter and filling out an application to be a terrorist.
  • 8.8 billion dollars is placed on pallets and transported to Iraq where it is never heard from again.
  • In preparation for Hurricane Katrina, a FEMA contractor makes a web site inquiry about renting buses to evacuate New Orleans residents. The contractor finally orders the buses 18 hours after storm makes landfall.
  • The Department of Defense releases an 105 year old man from Guantanamo after it is determined he isn't a terrorist.
  • The White House Press Office issues credentials to an ideologically correct manwhore.
  • The US Government transports Maher Arar, a Canadian Citizen, to Syria to be tortured. He is released a year later when it was determined that he is innocent.
  • The President picks an ideologically correct horse show judge to run FEMA.
  • 380 tons of explosives disappear from the Al QaQaa arms depot in the weeks between the fall of Iraq and the day the Pentagon decides to finally secure the facility.
  • Nuclear waste is taken from the Tuwaitha nuclear waste dump during the weeks between the fall of Iraq and the day the Pentagon finally sent troops to guard the facility.
  • Ahmad Chalabi, the man who supplied much of the intelligence about Iraq's WMD capabilities, and was the Defense Department's choice to lead the first Iraq government, is arrested for telling the Iranians that we had broken their codes.
  • President Bush, forgetting a briefing where he was told that Katrina would likely breach New Orleans levies, tells the world that no one could have predicted it.
  • President Bush and his consort, Condoleeza Rice declare that no one could have foreseen the events of 911. Later, Sec. Rice confirms that just one month before 911, she and the President discussed a Presidential Daily Briefing titled "Bin Laden determined to attack inside the U.S.," in which the threat of hijacked planes being flown into buildings was mentioned.
  • The Department of Defense fails to plan for anything after the fall of Iraq.


  1. What ever happened to "Reports to the General"?

  2. Anonymous7:12 AM

    Report to the General,

    This is off topic Sir but the irony was just too intense.

    "Abortion Protesters Cause Accident at The Corner of Nutt Road and Gay Street"


  3. Anonymous7:13 AM

    Let me try that link again.

  4. Speaking of linking issues, General, Sir, your "manwhore" link to is messed up because (it seems) you either left the colon out of "http://...", getting "http//" instead, or almost duplicated it to turn out "http://http//...". Might be good enough for Administration work as-is, though.

  5. madchen8:35 PM

    What's wrong with being a manwhore?

  6. I'd guess that there's nothing at all wrong with being a manwhore. It was the issuing credentials part that was the problem. Everybody knows the manwhores are supposed to come in through the White House back entrance, or one of the "secret" tunnels to adjacent buildings. Can't be having their visits (occasionally) out in the open like that, though! Even if there isn't a blue dress involved, someone might find a suspicious bit of black leather somewhere.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.