Republican Jesus Wishes You A Happy Gun Appreciation Day

Republican Jesus: Our judeo-CHRISTIAN Heritage

Republican Jesus on Selective Editing

Republican Jesus on the Extra Work Required to Create the Penis

And Now for Something Completely Different

I miss the old traditions we practiced where I grew up--like how we dealt with the Brethren when they grew too old to put on their mountain man outfits and shoot things. I guess Elder Orson has reached that stage. At least that's how Winnie reports it in my hometown paper:

Orson Poulsen gives a great, big thank you to Eli Anderson and Roland Bringhurst for their help in finishing the old time hearse he was restoring. After the men finished they took Orson out to a farewell breakfast.

Elsewhere
Game On: Catholic Bishops Launch ‘Full-Court Press’ Over Religious Liberty

Our Little Babeu

Elsewhere: Godfearing Teaparty-American Sheriff Paul Babeu offers a Mexican national a deal he can't refuse.

Republican Jesus Joins Team Romney

Now for something completely different.

I'm not much for frilly pink organizations, but you got to give the godly not-men at the Susan G. Komen Foundation a lot of credit for their honesty.

Screenshot of the Komen.org website taken at about 11:00 PDT, Feb. 1, 2012:

Republican Jesus Gives the Golden Rule a Rewrite

Gold, Frankincense, and Pepperspray

Talking Points Memo covers the launch of Our Lord and Savior's birthday celebration season, and it looks like the War on Christmas is failing. Americans continue to celebrate Christ's birth in the traditional manner:

A Wal-Mart shopper honors the season by spreading spicy fragrance:

In the first case, police report a shopper attempted to gain a competitive advantage over her fellow patrons at a Wal-Mart store in Porter Ranch, Calif., at about 10 p.m. Thanksgiving Day. Here’s what that was like, according to witness accounts in the Los Angeles Times:

“I heard screaming and I heard yelling,” said Lopez, 18. “Moments later, my throat stung. I was coughing really bad and watering up.”

Other shoppers honored the beginning of the Season in more traditional ways:

In Rome, N.Y., a man was arrested after “several shoppers at the electronics department were pushed to the ground and several fights broke out,” according to NBC3 in Syracuse. And in Cave Creek, Ariz., the bomb squad took a suspected explosive device out of a Wal-Mart employee break room.

Other incidents occurred outside Wal-Mart stores early in the morning of Black Friday. In Myrtle Beach, S.C., a woman was shot in the foot during an armed robbery outside a Wal-Mart at around 1 AM. In San Leandro, Calif., a man was reportedly shot outside a Wal-Mart at about 2 a.m. “after suspects asked the victims for their items and were refused,” leading to a fight.

Even the police were overcome with the spirit of the season:

Sgt. Roland Davis of Kinston Public Safety says Walmart hired off-duty police officers to help with security during their Black Friday event today,” reports WITN-TV. “Davis says an officer was trying to quell a disturbance and make an arrest, and used pepper spray.

Republican Jesus Defends Sister Sarah

And a rare photo of sportscaster Sarah.


A tip of the ol' helmet to reader BS.

Republican Jesus on the Debt Default Negotiations

I hear Timid Centrist Jesus is ready to make a deal if Republican Jesus will throw in a faith-based stapling program for detached leper noses.

Pat Robertson Blessed with War in the Ivory Coast

From Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN):

Ivory Coast: Good News During Civil War
By CBN Ivory Coast

With strong support from pastors of various denominations in Ivory Coast, CBN began to make preparation for an evangelistic media campaign that would take place during the Christmas holidays. What no one expected though, was that the country would erupt into civil war.

….CBN WorldReach Director Peter Darg writes …”With a complete curfew from sun down to sun up, everybody is trying to race around to get to work, school or shopping and mostly creating massive traffic tie ups. After dark, everyone is at home watching TV, so the blitz (media campaign)timing is perfect in this regard (imagine what the USA TV networks would give to force everyone in the country to be in their homes every night watching the TV or face being shot).

More from Bartholomew.

Republican Jesus on Collective Smiting

Tolereanceofascists question our Lord's use of collective smiting. So do some whom I suspect are are not fully committed to the heterosexual life style. Unfortunately, their favorable skin-tone protects them from our Savior's fury.

Blessed are the Unregulated

More here and here:

When the voter followed up by asking, “Who’s protecting us?” [GOP House candidate Jesse] Kelly responded, “It’s our job to protect ourselves.” The exasperated voter asked once more, “Am I supposed to go to a chicken farmer and say I’d like you to close down because all of your birds are half dead?” Kelly once more answered, “There’s a new thing that comes along every day. But I know this: Every part of our economy that is regulated by the government doesn’t have fewer disasters, it has more.”

And a video:

Republican Jesus On The Minimum Wage

Cup of Pencils Kick in a few bucks if you like what I'm doing. I could really use it.

The Eggman Commeth

And Our Republican Lord and Savior doesn't believe that story about Drudge anyway.

After the decision

This is what happens when courts "impose a secular immorality on the American people:"



And how the hell did we lose this case with witnesses like this:

Proponent Hak-Shing William Tam testified about his role in the Proposition 8 campaign. Tam spent substantial time, effort and resources campaigning for Proposition 8.

As of July 2007, Tam was working with Protect Marriage to put Proposition 8 on the November 2008 ballot. Tr 1900:13-18.

Tam testified that he is the secretary of the America Return to God Prayer Movement, which operates the website “1man1woman.net.” Tr 1916:3-24.

1man1woman.net encouraged voters to support Proposition 8 on grounds that homosexuals are twelve times more likely to molest children, Tr 1919:3-1922:21, and because Proposition 8 will cause states one-by-one to fall into Satan’s hands, Tr 1928:6-13.

Tam identified NARTH (the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) as the source of information about homosexuality, because he believe[s] in what they say.” Tr 1939:1-9.

Tam identified “the internet” as the source of information connecting same-sex marriage to polygamy and incest. Tr 1957:2-12.

Republican Jesus Loves The Smell of Electrified Testicles in the Morning

Marcy Wheeler (who is currently doing a fundraiser) has more on why we Serious-Americans prefer torture to more effective and Constitutionally-acceptable interrogation techniques.

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Republican Jesus on the Criminalization of the White Man's Burden

More at Little Miss Brightside

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They Call Justice Alito, "Mr. Consistant"

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Republican Jesus on the truly needy

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